tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75770888088450818072024-02-19T09:34:07.401-05:00The Dragonfly ForestA place where Dragonflies can come for motivation, inspiration, education, and be accepted as a Dragonfly!JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.comBlogger444125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-59444657591881072852019-01-21T06:00:00.000-05:002020-01-20T08:40:27.172-05:00Dr. King & Lessons from A Class Divided<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">I've been so busy working and being the voice of those who are discriminated against that I have not been able to post on here. I have decided to re-share a past post for my first 2019 post for </span></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">Martin Luther King Jr. Day.</span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px; line-height: 19.97333335876465px;">To start, watch-- "A Class Divided." </span></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNJCHyH_wRM&feature=youtu.be">Direct Link to A Class Divided if the above video doesn't work</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Yes, Jane Elliott’s Brown Eyes/Blue Eyes is a powerful video on racism. </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">It gives insights into the personal experiences of how we discriminate based on the attribute of the color of eyes or the color of one’s skin.</span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Let’s think outside of the box on this one and see how this is also a great lesson on how we treat people with learning disabilities (Dyslexia, ADHD, Dysgraphia, Asperger’s….) and other types of disabilities (physical, deaf, blind…) in school settings.</span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">To help you understand this, I’m going to explain it as “Butterflies” vs. “Dragonflies.” Butterflies are “typical” students who learn easily, have athletic and/or academic talents, and viewed by others as beautiful. Dragonflies, on the other hand, are students with disabilities and challenges (with or without IEP/504’s); they struggle academically, athletically, socially, and/or emotionally; and are viewed by others as scary, not fitting in, and different. In school environments, it is often assumed that “Butterflies are better than Dragonflies.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The Butterflies are more likely to be given extra opportunities in schools such as crossing guard or member of the student council. Teachers are concerned if they give Dragonflies positions of responsibilities, they will not be able to handle the job, or the Dragonfly doesn't deserve a reward--so Butterflies get the special treatment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Butterflies are picked more often for awards and accolades because they are “easy to teach” and “well-liked by their teachers and peers.” For more details on this, check out my post on <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/06/stop-shaming-why-ceremonies-and.html">Stop the Shaming: why ceremonies and graduations need to change</a>. The Dragonflies are often not given these awards and accolades because they are so challenging to teach; they may be experiencing <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-importance-of-changing-learned.html">Learned Helplessness</a> (explained in the linked post) from the years of discrimination, shame, and pain that they have just given up trying; they just don’t fit in socially.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Butterflies are given positive reinforcements in the classroom while the Dragonflies often receive negative reinforcements. When you observe an elementary classroom room where a teacher has a Colored behavior chart, more Dragonflies are on Yellow and Red than Butterflies. The Butterflies are most likely on Green and get to run particular errands for teachers or get to sit in special places in the room. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As you can see, the list of the differences can go on and on, yet the key point is how Dragonflies are not just discriminated against by their teachers this treatment is seen as acceptable to their peers as well. Students model the behaviors of the teachers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">So when thinking about Martin Luther King Jr. today, think about how we still treat students who learn differently (academically or socially) as less than the students who are “Mainstream” learners. Dragonflies are often excluded from classes that Butterflies receive automatically, such as gym, art, and other electives because the Dragonflies need extra teacher support to learn. Schools require students to take these foreign </span></span><span style="font-size: 19px; line-height: 19.97333335876465px;">language</span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> classes. Although students with learning disabilities would benefit from Sign Language, it is too much trouble to make this happen, so they just have to struggle (causing emotional pain) or not participate (excluded from a class open to non-disabled peers). For some reason it seems acceptable to the adults to take away opportunities from Dragonfly students using the reasoning that teachers can’t work beyond school hours, it would cost too much to provide the services, or they don't want to make a specific accommodation. For more details on this visit, the following post: </span></span><a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/08/dr-kings-legacy-regarding.html" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">Dr. King’s Legacy Regarding Discrimination in Education</a><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So here is my question to you: What are we really teaching our children in schools? Are we teaching them empathy, or are we teaching them discrimination? By excluding the Dragonfly students from the events and opportunities that are freely given to Butterflies, we are condoning discrimination. I am often told that the Butterflies have “earned” these privileges, but the Dragonflies have not so they do not deserve them. So you really think that because Little Johnny can’t read that he should have to be pulled from gym, art, or recess so he can be taught to read? By the way, maybe we should go back to teaching students using the Orton-Gillingham reading program- look for this scene in the movie!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Maybe you think it is safer to not have Little Sarah as the library helper because she has impulsive ADHD and may get lost in the hallway or forget what she was doing (<i>or is it really because it would just be easier for you to not have to supervisor her so you will send the “responsible” student</i>). Then there is the socially awkward student and wanted to be a “student leader,” but you think that a different student would be a better role model (the 'popular' student). By denying students these opportunities, you are discriminating against them and perpetuating the belief that there really is something wrong with Dragonflies. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We need to practice lessons we have learned from Dr. King: <i>"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. But education which stops with efficiency may prove the greatest menace to society. The most dangerous criminal may be the man gifted with reason but no morals. We must remember that intelligence is not enough. Intelligence plus character- that is the goal of true education." </i></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-8675455276510124542018-10-07T06:00:00.000-04:002018-10-07T07:58:37.108-04:005 ways to Celebrate National Dyslexia Awareness Month<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">October is Dyslexia Awareness Month and a great time to put a spotlight on dyslexia. <i>Although remember~ for full acceptance and inclusion we need to always have a spotlight on dyslexia and all types of disabilities not just once a year.</i> The best way to embrace differences is to focus on all the unique qualities we all have. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, here are 5 ways to not only bring dyslexia into a classroom setting in October but ways you can add it to your curriculum to touch on all year long.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">1.) Hang up pictures of people around the room with dyslexia (and other types of disabilities). Here's a great link of <a href="http://www.dyslexia.com/famous.htm">famous people with dyslexia</a> where you can find people in all types of fields for any classroom. This is important because we have learned from the <a href="https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html">Harvard Implicit Bias Project</a> that we have less bias toward people of specific races, genders, and disabilities when we are frequently exposed to positive images of people in these categories. (You can find plenty picture quotes, like the one below, I make for the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Decoding.Dyslexia.OH?fref=ts">Decoding Dyslexia Ohio Facebook Page</a>). </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">2.) Explain to students the signs of Dyslexia- A quick way to do this is to show one or both of these videos</span><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoCOj-6aPVU">Direct link to What is Dyslexia by Eliza</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2CIjD1gEiE">Direct link to Diane Vogel explaining How a Dyslexic Brain Works</a></div>
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** Please note: Not all dyslexic brains are the same & Diane Vogel is explaining one way a dyslexic brain processes information. This may not be the way you or your child experiences dyslexia. Furthermore, this is not a scientific way of explaining dyslexia -- it is a very simple visual way to demonstrate how the brain processes different information. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Also, pass out this information from <a href="http://dyslexia.yale.edu/EDU_whatisdyslexia.html">The Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">** <i>Note: be prepared to see yourself in these symptoms and have a number of students in your classroom identify with these symptoms because 1 in 5 is a person with dyslexia! </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">3.) Add books to your classroom - a great page to find these resources is <a href="http://dyslexia.yale.edu/EDU_YPbooks.html">Yale's list of books for young people focused on dyslexia</a>. Furthermore, teach about famous authors with dyslexia such as Avi, Victor Villasenor Burro, Agatha Christie, F. Scott Fitzgerald, </span><span style="font-size: large;">John Irving</span><span style="font-size: large;">, </span><span style="font-size: large;">Dav Pilkey, </span><span style="font-size: large;">Patricia Polacco, </span><span style="font-size: large;">Henry Winkler... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">4.) Show one or more of these short videos. Each is a famous person speaking about their experience being dyslexic. When students learn about people with disabilities beings successful, the students become more motivated. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Orlando Bloom:</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLTSPmoH2eE">Direct link to ~Orlando Bloom talks about his dyslexia</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Whoopi Goldberg:</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMBDPOXbAHo&index=6&list=PLOWagkFZpGPHTjAHWjeS6jQhMaUGF3aTC">Direct link to Whoopi Goldberg talking about her dyslexia</a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Sir Richard Branson:</span></b><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpvF5xCQ7s8">Direct link to Sir Richard Branson speaking on Dyslexia</a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Daymond John:</span></b><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGB5NdDTpbw">Direct link to Daymond John and dyslexia as a strength</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It is also powerful to have a young person share the story of their own journey toward success despite having a disability and this video of <b>Piper Otterbein </b>is very inspiring! </span><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugFIHHom1NU">Direct link to Piper Otterbein talking about her dyslexia</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">5.) Do not... I repeat DO NOT do a dyslexia simulation where the letters on the page are flipped, reversed, half missing, or blurred. People with dyslexia <b>do not </b>see things wrong and this type of activity only feeds the myth that dyslexia is related to seeing the letters/words backward. If you do feel that you want to help people understand how reading can be challenging for a person with dyslexia have them read something in a foreign language. The following is a simple paragraph with each sentence in a different foreign language. Have people try to read this accurately and fluently - they will discover that it isn't easy. Explain that this is similar to what some people with dyslexia experience. Make sure the students understand that each person with dyslexia is unique and it doesn't mean the person is not smart- their brain is just processing language differently. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Also, do NOT explain what it is like to be a person with dyslexia if you do not have dyslexia. Have a guest speaker come in and talk to the class about what living with dyslexia is like for that person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Finally, make sure you talk to students daily all year long that each and every student is unique and it is being different that makes the world a great place. Have them think about all the ways they are a unique individual! </span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-59654076838417317512018-09-10T07:06:00.000-04:002018-09-10T08:32:21.786-04:00What to do about Suicide <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Today is the start of Suicide Prevention Week 2018. I am sharing a past post from August 14, 2016. Both today in 2018 and in 2016 I could write almost the exact same words as I did on May 18, 2014. Depression and anxiety are real, and we are not doing enough to help people who battle with mental health concerns. Over these past few years, there have been many stories about children killing themselves. In my children's own school district there were a few suicides last year and many students with suicidal ideation. This has to stop. Adults must keep our children emotionally safe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here are the past posts...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">From August 14, 2016:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I was thinking about writing something positive and motivating for a Spiritual Sunday post because I've been so busy with work I have not been able to post as often as I want. Instead, I saw a post about a young boy who committed suicide... again. He wrote in a note that he was bullied and teachers didn't help. Here's that article: <a href="http://www.people.com/article/staten-island-boy-commits-suicide-bullying?xid=socialflow_facebook_peoplemag">"'I gave up:' 13 - Year-Old boy commits suicide after he claims school 'Didn't do anything' to stop his bullies." </a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This breaks my heart! I just don't understand how the adult who has the power to make life better for children do not step in and really make a difference. Sometimes adults are the bullies as well. My biggest concern about this article is it seems the child failed his grade in school. I see this way too often - students getting failing grades and adults at the school do nothing but let the child fail. The student is the one blamed for the failure. This makes me so angry because adults have the power to step in and work on figuring out WHY the student is failing. I will write more on this topic but in the meantime here's the I wrote in May 2014~~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">From May 18, 2014:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I woke up today thinking about what I wanted to share on Spiritual Sunday. It has been a while since I posted a Spiritual Sunday because I've been struggling spiritually. I just can't seem to understand why people lack empathy. Now, I wake up to read an article in the Columbus Dispatch newspaper about a teenage girl committing suicide and bullying was reported as one of the factors. Here is the article: <a href="http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2014/05/17/girl-held-pain-close.html">Pickerington teen's suicide raises concern: How much was bullying to blame?</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">My heart is breaking. I did not know this girl, but I know her pain. I have felt this pain many times myself. I work with people who feel this pain or have felt this pain in their past. I wrote about <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/11/words-from-parents-dragonflies.html">Bullying and Suicide</a> originally on November 19, 2013, after another teen suicide. I have been making a plea to educators to STOP teaching "Anti-Bullying" programs and start teaching <b>EMPATHY!</b> What we focus on we expand so if we are focused on bullying we will get bullying if we concentrate on empathy we will get empathy! I wrote<a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/01/empathy-antidote-to-bullying.html"> Empathy is the Antidote to Bullying</a> on January 29, 2013, in hopes that we can start making this change. I'm saddened that we now have lost another unique and beautiful person to suicide. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Many people struggle with empathy when it comes to a person's depression and/or suicidal ideations. These topics make people uncomfortable and often the person feeling these ways stays silent, puts a smile on their face, and suffers alone. They know that no one will really understand or the other person will minimize their feelings. People need to realize that the person often doesn't really want to die they want the pain to end. When other's show empathy the pain can stop!!!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd0zw3jokTbvBsobaKsr5rraKqpfR-JY0TwrV7Dv4XDM4hUEfVgSzStYhrzmE3fcTDEUiDkXSep1oiMtXsrRPP-MkGQy33-MCF7EQTY7usOtZJyJmWxxp7fiVgHFKPw0mWWNRXwAJ9qXUZ/s1600/sad+dragonfly.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="436" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd0zw3jokTbvBsobaKsr5rraKqpfR-JY0TwrV7Dv4XDM4hUEfVgSzStYhrzmE3fcTDEUiDkXSep1oiMtXsrRPP-MkGQy33-MCF7EQTY7usOtZJyJmWxxp7fiVgHFKPw0mWWNRXwAJ9qXUZ/s1600/sad+dragonfly.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So what can you do about suicide? You can start paying attention to those around you. You can start showing REAL empathy. Know the difference between empathy & sympathy- here's a quick video to help you understand this: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Remember that you do have the power to make the difference in someone else's life. You can prevent a person from committing suicide, and you may never know that you did because the person will not tell you they wanted to escape this pain (world). Often people, like this recent teen, Cora Delille, didn't share her pain overtly with family and friends. She kept most of her pain silent, but if others have empathy, they will see that she is struggling with something and reach out to her. If covert bullying (relational aggression) was happening in school then teachers need to be more diligent by watching students interact- there are signs of relational aggression (name calling, excluding, teasing, avoidance behaviors, mean looks...). If administrators know that a teacher and/or coach is treating a child unfairly and emotionally damaging the child they need to protect the child. Adults have the power to make positive changes and save the lives of children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">(Image: a silhouette picture of a person sitting holding their knees with their head down and a quote titled 'Be a friend save a life' - "Suicidal thoughts happen when pain exceeds the amount of resources needed for coping. Family and friends are often unaware of the suicidal ideations. If a loved one is depressed or under a great deal of stress, be a resource. Listen to his/her worries, stressors, and fears. Make no judgments. Just listen and provide support.") </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Please start paying attention to those around you (especially if they are a student who has learning disabilities - see picture below)! Practice empathy on a daily basis. Let's teach all our children to be emphatic so they will be kinder to one another. Please pass this on to help save the life of someone in pain. Finally, remember I really do care about the lives of everyone and always here. If you are in pain, know you are not alone!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here's a link to a recent post about <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/05/motivational-monday-asking-for-help.html">Asking for Help</a>. This is another critical post for parents!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">(Image: student sitting at a computer desk with books in front of him and he is holding his head in his hands looking down as if defeated and a quote from Stephanie Sergent Daniel's article 'Reading Disabilities Put Students at Risk for Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors and Dropping Out of School' - "In our study, poor readers were three times more likely than typical readers to consider or attempt suicide ant six times more likely to drop out of school. Educators and parents should be aware of the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors among adolescents with reading problems.")</span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-61613545678704975212018-08-29T06:00:00.000-04:002018-08-29T09:37:38.964-04:00How students with disabilities are discriminated against in schools - the problem: Ableism<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">This article is to help you understand that people with disabilities (visible & invisible) are discriminated against and it needs to STOP. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">The REAL problem with our education system isn’t the common core curriculum but <b>ableism</b>. Ableism like any other “ism” is the belief that abled people are superior to disabled people and the only way to do things (learn, read, walk, see, hear…) is the non-disabled way. Ableism is a form of prejudice that is not only overlooked but tolerated, condoned, and defended. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Think about it - how often do schools teach and celebrate people with disabilities? When schools address diversity they avoid or disregard the diversity of disabilities (actually a form of ableism). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">School districts proudly state they have a culture and climate that supports inclusion but this is not a reality until we openly embrace people of all kinds of disabilities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">I wrote this article to help you understand ableism in our schools. Here is a great litmus test – if you replace a person’s color, religion, or gender with a disability in a situation you will come to realize that schools are discriminating against students with disabilities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">In order for a student with a disability to receive an appropriate education, there must be proof he has a disability. Race and gender are no longer allowed to be used to deny a student an education but if a student with a disability does not meet the school’s eligibility requirements then he is denied an education. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">For example, Jane has dyslexia which makes it hard for her to decode and keep up with her peers in reading. Jane did not qualify for special education services because she is passing her subjects and her standardized tests scores are “average.” The school denies her an evidence-based reading program (explicit, systematic, phonics-based approach) and requires her to learn to read via programs conducive to only non-dyslexic peers. Umm Ableism!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">School systems and even some parents tend to focus on “fixing” the student with a disability instead of creating educational environments conducive for all students with disabilities. The problem lies in the belief that something is wrong with the student with a disability because they do not fit into the ‘abled’ school or social setting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">For example, Jack not only has learning disabilities but he also experiences anxiety (often this is a result of years of discrimination, being made to feel something is wrong with them, and not being educated appropriately). Teachers (and other adults) believe that Jack should learn information in the way they are teaching and function like his non-disabled peers. These assumptions cause teachers to focus on “fixing” Jack by forcing him to do things their way – be it eye-reading, handwriting assignments/test, speaking in front of others… The goal is to create an all-new Jack, one that looks, acts, and learns like his non-disabled peers. Is this okay? How would you feel if white teachers focused on teaching African American students how to look, act, and behave white so they would “fit in?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Referring to a person having a disability as just having a ‘difference’ is ableism. Using the label of ‘difference’ does NOT take away the disability. Instead of empowering a person by using the word ‘difference’ the person is actually being marginalized. When students are told about their disability and it is acknowledged, they experience less shame. Students with disabilities are well aware of how different they are from their non-disabled peers. Minimizing their disabilities as just a ‘difference’ causes students with disabilities more difficulties. Often it is a parent pushing for the label of ‘difference’ because the parent is struggling to come to terms with their child not being ‘normal.’ “See my child isn’t abnormal she is just different.” The same can be said for the person who refers to themselves as not having a disability but only having a ‘difference.’ Denying the disability is the same as denying one’s gender or race – we are what we are! - <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/10/why-its-better-to-use-word-disability.html">Learn why the word disability is better!</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">School counselors and teachers tend to believe that a good way to include students with disabilities is to have a “Buddy” program where non-disabled students are paired up with students with disabilities. Hmm, let’s put this program to the test- would it be appropriate to assign non-white students a white “buddy” so they can be included in the majority white mainstream culture? No, this would be racist! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Anti-bullying programs are everywhere (which are actually counterproductive by the way – <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/01/empathy-antidote-to-bullying.html">here’s what works better</a>). Sadly, students with disabilities are often the target in bullying situations and school staff members condone the behaviors of the bullies. If the student being bullied does not fit in as ‘normal’ than these students are blamed for causing the problem. Parents of students with Asperger’s or on the Autism Spectrum are often told by school counselors and teachers that the student would benefit from social skills counseling. The goal here is to get the student with a disability to fit in so THEY no longer are the target of the bullying behaviors. What if a student was being bullied because of his religion? Would it be appropriate to tell the parents of a Jewish student they need to take their child to counseling so the child can learn ways to fit in with his Christian peers? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">School districts require students to learn a foreign language but most refuse to offer American Sign Language as an option. Students with learning disabilities especially language processing disabilities and dyslexia struggle with learning the English language but are forced to participate in classes where they will not be successful and are informed that no accommodations or modifications can be provided (I’ve been told this one personally). This is actually discrimination. When parents request their child be provided a more appropriate course, parents are told they must find and pay for the course themselves. What happened to free and appropriate education here? Furthermore, isn’t the school supposed to be a safe environment for students? By forcing students with disabilities that impede their ability to learn a foreign language to meet foreign language requirements the school district is causing unnecessary emotional distress. (Universities like Yale even exempt students with dyslexia from the foreign </span></span><span style="line-height: 19.9733px;">language</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> requirement - taking foreign culture instead so why can't high schools?)<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">When teachers tell parents that Little Johnny would be doing much better in class if he could just stay focused is ableism. Little Johnny has ADHD and he does not need to be cured with medication or more discipline. What Little Johnny needs is understanding and accommodations. Telling him to “just try harder” is discrimination. Assuming he is lazy is ableism – he has a disability and yet he is expected to behave as if he is ‘normal.’ Negative comments like these are actually attacking Little Johnny’s self-esteem and in turn, makes the ADHD worse. Students with anxiety, depression, and other disabilities experience more negative judgments than their non-disabled peers. Instead of embracing and understand the individual students, school staff members are discriminating against the students who don’t fit in or are more difficult to teach. Hmm, what if school staff members said these judgmental comments to students based on their race, gender, or religion? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Are you aware that inclusion is NOT really inclusion and here are some examples of students with disabilities being excluded: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Did you know that students with disabilities that require them to receive more individualized support for their disability are excluded from extracurricular classes such as art, gym, music, or even recess? These classes and activities are a great way for students to interact with each other, build social skills, self-esteem, and feel included. Research has shown that the social and emotional health of students with and without disabilities has a direct impact on their academic success. A school would never be allowed to use race, gender, or </span></span><span style="line-height: 19.9733px;">religion</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> to exclude a student from classes and activities but do it daily to students with disabilities.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">School districts "must ensure that children and youth with disabilities have an equal opportunity to participate in the program or activity of the school including extracurricular activities." Too often children with disabilities are excluded from participating in sports and other extracurricular activities by coaches and teachers. For example, it is discrimination if a student with anxiety is denied playing time in a sport because of his/her anxiety. It is emotionally damaging and increases a child's anxiety to have to sit on the bench while all other players get an opportunity to play yet this exclusion is often condoned by coaches and school administrators. For more examples and more details regarding the discrimination of students with disabilities in extracurricular activities read the <a href="https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-201301-504.pdf">Office of Civil Rights Department of Education Dear Colleague letter</a>.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Furthermore, schools have a minimum GPA requirement for a student to participate in sports with no accommodation for students with disabilities. This is often a state rule but schools do have the power to make some adjustments based on the individual student. Sometimes a student is trying exceptionally hard academically and they just can't meet the grade expectations so they are punished by not being allowed to participate in sports. Denying these students the opportunity to participate in sports because they are not successful academically is discrimination and ableism! The <a href="http://blog.ed.gov/2013/01/we-must-provide-equal-opportunity-in-sports-to-students-with-disabilities/">Department of Education</a> agrees that students with disabilities should NOT be discriminated against and allowed to participate in sport. Furthermore, even the NCAA understands that not all athletics will meet academic eligibility, here's an excerpt & link: <i><a href="http://www.ncaa.org/student-athletes/future/education-impacting-disabilities">"For academic eligibility purposes, the NCAA defines an education-impacting disability (EID) as a current impairment that has a substantial educational impact on a student's academic performance and requires accommodations.</a></i>"</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"> I have written frequently about how it is NOT okay for teachers and school districts to allow students to fail: </span><a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/05/what-is-free-appropriate-education.html" style="font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Why are students failing if schools are required to provide a free and appropriate education?</a><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"> and </span><a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/05/students-dont-fail-educational-system.html" style="font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Students don't fail, the education system is failing our students</a><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">What you should be able to notice in this article is how able-entitlement is one of the problems. When you are able – able to walk, read, talk, see, and are free from mental health issues such as anxiety and depression… you assume that everyone else can do what you do and if they do things differently than they are doing them wrong. You believe that your way is the best way despite research providing evidence to the contrary. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">School staff members must realize that ableism is a form of discrimination and prejudice against students with physical, mental, emotional, or intellectual disabilities. Ableism is characterized by the belief that these students can be fixed, are not as capable as their non-disabled peers, and would be successful if they would only try harder, focus more, learn in the way their peers are learning, or build up their own self-esteem and self-worth. Adults have the power to make or break a child and sadly, students with disabilities are often broken by being discriminated against. Research studies have provided evidence that people who are discriminated against have more mental health issues, lower self-esteem, and increased amounts of anxiety and depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">School districts boast that they are opening and accepting of all students, celebrate diversity, recognize multicultural concerns, and have a mission to facilitate maximum learning for every student. Sadly students with disabilities are excluded in all ways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Finally, as a person who focuses on the positive and strength of the student I have no problem with the term disability but I prefer to use appropriate labels – Autism, Asperger’s, Anxiety, ADHD, Depression, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia…. Teach students to work to their strength and stop trying to make them all fit into a mold of ‘normal.’ When teaching about diversity include people with disabilities. Remember excluding or ignoring students with disabilities IS ableism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-77874633979688247272018-07-26T07:00:00.000-04:002018-07-26T07:24:25.503-04:006 Ways to build Grit, Tenacity, and Perseverance in your child at home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Over the last few days, I have received numerous phone calls, emails, and private messages via my Facebook pages (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/TheDragonflyForest?ref=hl">The DragonflyForest</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ForestAllianceCoaching?ref=hl">Forest Alliance Coaching</a>, & <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Decoding.Dyslexia.OH?ref=hl">Decoding Dyslexia OH</a>). The post on <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-importance-of-changing-learned.html">Learned Helplessness</a> resonated with so many people. There was a general consensus that the primary source of a student developing learned helplessness is in the school environment and that is the primary environment that needs to be changed. The most frequently asked questions related to how, as a parent, can we help our children survive; build grit, tenacity, & perseverance; and heal the wounds that are already established. This post will provide some insight into what a parent can do at home.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Here are some tips I give parents when helping coach them on raising a child with a learning disability:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><b>Grit is “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.” </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">1~</span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Praise children for their effort, not the end product or results.</span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -0.25in;">For example, when learning something say things like “Wow, I like how hard you worked on that problem,” “I enjoyed watching you put so much effort into your project,” or “You did a great job sticking to the problem after not being able to solve it.”</span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Your child needs to hear you say… “We all fail and make mistakes what matters most is getting back up and trying again with new lessons learned.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">2~<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Discuss how life is about learning all types of lessons, and the goal isn’t to get good grades it is to learn, develop, grow, improve, and change. When your child fails, focus on what lessons were learned from the failure and how to prevent these from happening again. Remind your child about how Thomas Edison didn’t fail thousands of times before he successfully invented the light bulb he learned a thousand ways his inventions didn’t work, but he persevered and finally found had success.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">3~<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Watch movies that demonstrate tenacity such as: "Rudy," "A Bugs Life," "Finding Nemo," "True Grit," "Karate Kid," "The Pursuit Of Happyness," "Little Giants," "The Rookie," "Remember the Titans"…. Geez just about any movie because they all follow the 'Hero’s Journey.' </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">4~<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span></span>When watching these movies (or eye/ear reading books) point out the theme of the 'Hero’s Journey.' Remind your child that they too are on their own 'Hero’s Journey.' Point out how on every journey the hero must experience a variety of trials and tribulations. Although they are not pleasant to experience, these obstacles make the hero stronger and better . Help your child see how his/her own life is on the Hero’s journey path in all different areas. If your child has a character from a movie or book, they admire point out how this character perseveres and “keeps swimming.” (Dory from Finding Nemo is one I admire!). In therapy sessions and when coaching clients, I frequently teach<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Joseph Campbell’s' Hero’s Journey' and help clients see how it relates to real life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">5~<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"> Be a good role model for your child and point out times you want(ed) to give up but persevered. This shows how you have/had grit and tenacity. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">6~<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Finally, allow them to express their feelings. Children will be frustrated when they go through their own trials and tribulations so they will want to vent these frustrations. When your child does vent he/she may not do so in a productive way. Your child may throw a tantrum, stomp around, or display a bad attitude. Ignore these behaviors for the most part (don’t allow holes to be punched into walls) because you don’t want to focus on the anger. Instead, you want to focus on how despite feeling frustrated your child is trying. Yes, stomping and banging the table while doing math problems is trying. Focus on how much you appreciate the effort. When your child is in the heat of venting emotions is not the time to discuss more appropriate behaviors. Give your child some space and once your child is calm and more relaxed thank them for the effort to make some progress. Remind your child it is not about a final destination but the journey and how he/she has made some progress on the journey. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">These are just a few examples of ways I work with parents on helping their child develop tenacity. Another key to helping your child is to finding something, anything that he/she does well. Every child needs to be actively involved in things they CAN do, so help your child find things he/she is good at doing. Every person is good at something – if you need help in this area please feel free to contact me and I’ll help you figure out what your child may be good at doing. </span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-4374030506431099492018-07-25T06:30:00.000-04:002018-07-25T07:14:09.021-04:00Life Lessons from The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings: Must See Movies <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">*Reposted from December 29, 2013, with a new video added to the bottom~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I was finally able to squeeze “<i>The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug</i>” into my schedule. Those who know me, know that I <b>LOVE</b> everything about <i>The Lord of the Rings</i> trilogy & <i>The Hobbit</i> movies and books (btw I ‘ear-read’ most books- which means I listen to them on audio, usually while driving). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">What you probably don’t know is why I love these adventures.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">These are perfect tales of the Hero’s Journey. As a therapist, one of my favorite things to do is coach others on their own Hero’s Journey and these movies & books are great examples of the lessons we all need to learn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Here are a few of those lessons: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">~~We should focus on a person’s strength not weaknesses.
Hobbits (be it Frodo, Sam, or Bilbo) may be small but they are cleaver, courageous,
and know the value of friendship.<br /> </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">~~We should value mentors and become a mentor to
others. Gandalf is a perfect
mentor. He can see the strength and
potential in Bilbo and Frodo. Gandalf
not only tells them that he believes in them but also pushes them out of their
comfort-zones so they can reach their potentials. By having a strong mentor like Gandalf, both
Bilbo and Frodo begin to have faith in themselves. Everyone deserves to have a mentor in their life
so go out there and be a mentor to someone; it makes the world a better place.</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">~~Too much of something isn’t good for you. Dwarves are obsessed with gold (& jewels) and
King Thror is so obsessed that he ends up losing his whole kingdom (&
thousands of people) because another obsessed creature, the Dragon Smaug. These are examples of how an obsession causes
negative events: Gollum and his precious; Thorin’s desire for the Arkenstone
Gem over the lives of others; and Saruman and his quest for power.<br /> </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">~~Being vulnerable makes you strong, not weak. When we believe that helping others causes us
to be vulnerable we not only lose support but we also lose trust. The Elves didn’t want to risk losing some of
their own kind to help the Dwarves so later the dwarves refused to support and
help the Elves. Sam doesn’t want to be
vulnerable to Gollum but without his help Sam and Frodo would not have been
able to complete their adventure. This
does not mean that you blindly trust others.
Keep your guard up but allow yourself to be vulnerable once in a while
so you can become successful. Don’t be
so full of yourself and think you can do it all alone.</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">~~It is the experiences we have in life that build our
self-esteem and our confidence. When we
overcome an obstacle, hurdle, or quest we change and become stronger. Sometimes the most difficult challenges are
the most rewarding in the end. There are
so many examples of how the characters (Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pip, Bard,
the Dwarves…) become better and more self-assured after each challenge. We need to remember these examples when were
are in the middle of one of our own battles because it is often hard to see the
light at the end of the tunnel but there will be a light if we keep moving
forward.</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">~~The way to obtain success when in the mist of chaos is
by having tenacity, girt, and perseverance.
Giving up and quitting will not allow you to conquer your demons whatever
they may be. Again, there are countless
examples of how each character used tenacity, grit, and perseverance to achieve
goals and become successful. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I use this story (and many others) in my life to help me stay motivated on my own Hero’s Journey. When times get tough, I seek inspiration and guidance in quotes. Here’s one of my favorites from each film:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“<i>Tell me, when did we let evil become stronger than us?</i>”
~ Tauriel (The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug)</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“<i>Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold
evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small
everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay... small acts of
kindness and love</i>.” ~Gandalf (The
Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey)</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> “<i>Even the
smallest person can change the course of the future</i>.” ~ Galadriel (LOTR –
Fellowship of the Ring)</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“<i>That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and
it’s worth fighting for.</i>” ~ Sam (LOTR- The Two Towers)</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“<i>This day does not belong to one man but to all. Let us
together rebuild this world that we may share in the days of peace.</i>” ~ Aragorn
(LOTR – the Return of the King)</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfflhfn1W-o">The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">**Update- here's the most recent movie trailer: </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzA1jfpC_vgOba-Lv3WK0nfOH7FlFvdZGvLFQQWUFAIhMXgWJfSIgWfx7H4qaeklsEaMWK-oLzZmt04e4ElBg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSzeFFsKEt4">The Hobbit- The Battle of the Five Armies</a></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-29097471456483007472018-07-19T06:20:00.000-04:002018-07-20T13:21:48.035-04:00The importance of changing Learned Helplessness in students with disabilities<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">RE-SHARING!!! This is so important to understand please pass-along to anyone who works with kids!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Why do some students with learning disabilities (LD) succeed while others appear unmotivated, fail, or drop out? The answer is quite simple. The LD students who are more successful have grit – tenacity. The LD students who are not achieving academic success have developed learned helplessness. Students do not develop learned helplessness because teachers and/or parents coddle the students, do things for them, or make things too easy. Learned helplessness is a condition in which the student has come to believe that he/she is helpless in a situation and events are out of his/her control. Learned helplessness is so damaging to a student and is the reason many quit rather than try harder, procrastinate, and even experience emotional problems. As an Educational Coach, Therapist, and Psycho-educational Diagnostician I will enlighten you on learned helplessness and changes that need to be made to help all LD students. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">BACKGROUND:<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Decades ago, a psychologist, Martin Seligman, performed some experiments on dogs. Here’s the abridged version. The researchers put dogs into different situations where they were placed in cages (shutter boxes). Some dogs were placed in a cage where they received an electric shock but were able to end the shock by pressing a lever, while other dogs were placed in a cage where they experienced random shocks but had NO ability to make the shock stop or escape. The dogs who had some control over their negative experiences recovered quickly but the dogs who could not escape or stop the pain learned to be helpless, gave up, and displayed clinical depressive symptoms. Later the dogs were placed </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 17px;">in another box </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">and only needed to jump over to the other side to escape the pain. The dogs who learned they could control their environment jumped over the small barrier quickly. The dogs who had no control over their situation continued to display helpless behaviors and instead of escaping the situation they just laid down and whined; they didn’t even try. </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Would we call these dogs lazy, unmotivated, or coddled? No, we would not, the dogs had learned to be helpless. No matter what, they could not change their environment or situation even if they had a desire to change– they were stuck. </span><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">HOW THIS RELATES TO STUDENTS WITH LD:<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">More research has occurred over the past decades focused on learned helplessness and we have discovered that it happens in humans as well. We are now able to understand why kidnap victims do not seize the opportunity to escape or why a battered spouse stays in an abusive relationship. We also now understand why some students with LD give up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When students attend school, they are stuck. The law says that a student MUST be in school and unless you are homeschooled you cannot just leave when you are feeling scared, vulnerable, stupid, or sometimes even sick. Classroom management techniques are designed to assure that the teacher has all the power so students are controlled. Granted, these classroom management techniques are often necessary but think about how similar they are to the cage the dogs were stuck in – quite similar in fact but with windows and more people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Now, some of these students will experience a great deal of negative pain while in these classrooms because they have LD. They will watch other students grasp concepts and ideas quicker and with ease while they struggle. These students with LD will also watch teachers praise and give positive attention to students who are being academically successful but they themselves cannot seem to achieve this academic success no matter how hard they try. Often despite trying exceptionally hard, teachers send clear messages to these students that they are perceived as lazy, unmotivated, not working hard enough, not working up to their potential… Wow, more shocking pain that they cannot escape and these LD students experience intense shame (<a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/12/shame-it-needs-to-stop-and-how-to-help.html">Shaming needs to stop post</a>). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Students with LD often have the intellectual capabilities to be academically successful but have a false perception that they lack these abilities and have learned that trying hard or putting in effort has no positive effect. Remember, a student’s perception is his/her reality. So, even if they are gifted and LD they may still experience learned helplessness. Learned helplessness undermines the student’s motivation to learn, reduces the student’s ability to learn, establishes ineffective learning strategies, and deteriorates school performance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Over time these students with LD end up just giving up and accepting their fate that they are stupid, will never learn, or will always fail anyway so why try. This is why there is a high dropout rate by the way! And let’s not forget that with these feelings of learned helplessness are other problems such as anxiety, depression, stress, suicide… Which is why I work hard to help teachers understand that students should never be labeled as a student with a behavior problem or lazy – the behaviors are a symptom of a deeper issue and behaviors often stems from learned helplessness and shame. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">FIXING THE PROBLEM:<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Studies have provided evidence that the teacher-student dynamic is a major factor that contributes to the development and maintenance of learned helplessness. This is not because teachers intend to create this environment for students but because when the student struggles and displays learned helplessness behaviors, positive reinforcements and support seldom occur. An LD student experiencing learned helplessness will not be motivated to do better by receiving bad grades which often is frustrating for the teacher who in turn give up on trying to even help the student. Let’s face it, teaching students who are motivated is much easier than teaching students who struggle and display self-defeating behaviors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Ways the system needs to change:<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Teach and embrace differences. Many schools have been willing to focus on
cultural and racial diversities yet few focus on learning diversities as a
whole. Some teachers are educating their
students in their own classrooms about learning differences and the importance
of accepting how everyone learns but this is hardly done at a district
level. School districts are focused on
Academic Excellence- praising and rewarding students and teachers who are high
achievers. Yes, we want students to be achieving
but school districts are “doing it wrong.”
Success in school should not be defined in regards to high scores but
instead, success should be defined as progress and improvement. Improving the academic knowledge and
self-esteem of students should be the focus of all education. School districts also need to eliminate the
shaming – discussed here: <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/06/stop-shaming-why-ceremonies-and.html">Stop the shaming post</a>. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">School districts need to stop being afraid of the numbers
(amount of students in special education) and just do what is right for all
students! I’m frequently in school
meetings where I hear principals, school psychologists, or special education
directors tell parents that their child doesn’t qualify for services. This is often because the student “fits in
the box” of average and therefore does not need the extra support services,
accommodations, or intervention programs the parents (and myself since I
diagnosed the student with a disability) believe are necessary. We are not wanting arbitrary services and
supports. We see the struggles the child
is dealing with. We are standing outside
the cage watching the child disintegrating from the pain and are trying to prevent
learned helplessness. It can be extremely
frustrating watching the school district continue to press the shock button
over and over and refusing to help stop the pain. By the way, I have never met a parent who has
asked the school for help when the child did not need the help but I have
experienced many school district refuse to provide help when it is explicitly
clear what needs to be done. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Teachers need to stop using red ink all over the
papers! When teachers focus on errors, they
are teaching students that failing is wrong/bad and that it isn’t okay to make
mistakes. In reality we really do learn
more from the mistakes we make than the things we get right so we need to help
students embrace errors. The score at
the top of the paper should be the number the student received correct. The answers the students got wrong should be
identified and the students should be taught how to go back over their mistakes,
relearn (or be retaught) the material, and correct the mistakes. This technique
should be taught as early as kindergarten and continue until the student
graduates cause the goal is for students to learn, isn’t it? Some
students will need to be re-taught the material they missed in a different way
because what the errors (poor grades) tells us is the student has failed to
learn the information. Sometimes
teachers have gotten into the habit of thinking that the <b><i>F</i></b> means that the student
has failed to study, or the student failed to listen, or the student has failed
to apply him/herself, or the parents failed to do their part… </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This leads me to the next important thing that needs
changed - blame. To learn everyone needs
to participate, the students, parents, and most importantly the teachers. The teachers are the leaders here and if a
student is not progressing and improving in their learning most of this
responsibility needs to fall on the teachers shoulders. I have heard many teachers place blame on the
students and/or parents. When a student struggles
with learned helplessness the teacher needs to add specific strategies to help
guide the student out of their perceived electric cage. Most students with learned helplessness
require a teacher to be explicit in their instructions and take time to meet with
the student one-on-one to provide assistance.
Remember, an LD student hears comments such as “Your written response is
sloppy and poorly written” as criticism (an electric shock) so focus on
positive constructive comments such as “Let’s think of another way to answer
this problem.” This demonstrates that
you, as the teacher, really do care and are willing to help alleviate the
pain. This does not mean that you as the
teacher are doing the work. You are
guiding the student on how to do the work, rewarding them for their effort, and
providing the student an opportunity to feel success. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Remember that students with learned helplessness have
learned to just give up so they may be resistant to help. Think of them as a traumatized dog that just
left the cage and the shocks were conditioned with human contact – the dogs
will then avoid humans. So when
interacting with these students focus on the things the student does well and
avoid focusing on what they are doing wrong or it will only make them more
resistant and have increased avoidance.
I coach many LD students with learned helplessness and know that they do
not want to have failing grades, they don’t want to feel stupid. These students really just want the pain to
stop but have no idea how. Parents often
try to help but they often have to spend their evenings trying to glue pieces
of their child’s shattered self-esteem back together (these students frequently
come home and let out all their anxiety, fears, and frustrations). Teachers can help alleviate this pain. One of the common themes in LD students with
grit, is they had at least one teacher/mentor who believed in them so they in
turn started to believe in themselves.
They had teachers/mentors who never gave up on them even when the times
got tough and helped teach them that failing doesn’t make them a failure. We all need people in our lives to help
instill motivation, especially these students with learned helplessness. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Finally, we need to change the structure of our
educational system to include instructions on developing grit and
tenacity. To be straight forward here –
schools should focus less on developing new curriculums like the “Common Core”
and put more energy into developing programs to teach grit, tenacity, and perseverance. To learn more about this read, <a href="http://pgbovine.net/OET-Draft-Grit-Report-2-17-13.pdf">Promoting Grit, Tenacity, and Perseverance: Critical Factors for Success in the 21stCentury.</a> </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Just think of how much better a school district would be if they could actually educate students to be successful in the world by having a positive self-esteem and grit. I hypnotize that our prison population would decrease and we would have more productive high achieving citizens. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Here is an activity that is similar to the one I do when teaching college classes and for professional development workshops for schools it's only a few minutes long and is a great example of how easy it is to develop learned helplessness. (if the video doesn't appear below click the link to get to the video)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: x-small; line-height: 107%;">(Image below: picture of an adult female sitting with her arm around a young male who is looking at a book and has a distressed look on his face. A quote from Sutherland & Singh's book 'Learned Helplessness and Students with Emotional or Behavioral Disorders: Deprivation in the Classroom-' "Students who are repeatedly exposed to school failure are particularly at risk for the development of learned helplessness." Then my explanation of learned helplessness from the research - "How to know if a student is experiencing learned helplessness: *Takes little independent initiative * Prefers easy problems & avoids hard problems * Makes negative or degrading comments about own ability *If fails one part of a task is certain to fail entire task *Gives up easily *Stops trying or avoids difficult academic work *Does not respond with pride when talking about academics *Does poorly despite having ability)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"><b><u>References if you need them:</u></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Schunk, D. H. (1984). Sequential attributional feedback and children's achievement behaviors. <i>Journal of Educational Psychology 76</i>(6), 1159–1169.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Seligman, M.E.P. (1975). Helplessness: On Depression, Development, and Death. San Francisco: W.H.Freeman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Sutherland, K.S., & Singh, N.N. (2004). Learned Helplessness and Students with Emotional or Behavioral Disorders: Deprivation in the Classroom. <i>Behavioral Disorders,</i> 29(2), 169-181.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Tollefson, N. (2000). Classroom applications of cognitive theories of motivation. <i>Educational Psychology Review</i>, Vol. 12, No. 1, pp. 63-83.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-2800236769470189912018-06-08T06:00:00.000-04:002018-06-08T08:09:26.756-04:00What you need to know about depression and suicide! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
RIP Chester Bennington! UPDATE: RIP Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain! So sad to have lost each of you!<br />
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Everyone had difficulties and challenges that need to be faced. People should not have to face these alone but often some have no choice. Yes, people will say "talk to me," "what's wrong," or "I'm here for you, all you have to do is ask." Well, some of us can't ask. Some of us know that others do not want to really hear how bad things are because there is nothing that can be done. We have to put on a smile and make the world a better place for others and we can't share the cold hard reality of what is happening.<br />
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Sometimes we do ask and no one takes the time to listen. We can even cry and share our pain only to have the other person minimize what we are feeling or try to sugar coat things. Well, this only makes the person feel worse, not better.<br />
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So how do you convince someone that life is worth living? You can't! You can tell someone that you care and show them by listening to them unconditionally but that is only if they are willing to talk and chances are, the person may not be willing to share what exactly is going on. Chances are no one can make things better. Only the person who is dealing with the difficulties and challenges can actually make changes and make things better. Often they just want to have someone listen to them, really listen with no judgment. This is not an easy task for people to do- listen without judgment.<br />
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When a person commits suicide you often hear how shocked everyone was because the person who ended their life was always so happy and had everything going for them. Why does this happen? This happens because no one really wants to face the reality that a person can be depressed, so depressed that they feel that life is no longer worth living.<br />
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Yes, the person thinking of suicide takes the feelings of others into consideration but what they know is that the relationship will still be there. There will still be some good memories and the person contemplating suicide believes that they are saving their loved ones from more pain if they end their life because obviously they are such a burden, to begin with or the loved ones would listen with empathy. People often see the "signs" of depression and suicidal ideations after the fact but these signs were there long before they just didn't care enough to notice. Maybe that sounds cruel, to blame the ones left behind but I believe that it is the society we live in that needs to carry the blame. We live in a society where it is not okay to talk about depression and suicide. We live in a society that shames people for being different.<br />
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If you have a friend who is depressed and shared some dark thoughts then be there for them, push them to open up and discuss their feelings and thoughts without judgment. Help them! Stop ignoring them and pretending that everything is okay. If you suspect that something is wrong and ask the person how they are and they say "fine" with a smile on their face-- push harder because chances are your instincts are correct. If you think that a person would not commit suicide because they have everything going for them, then think again, many people put on a mask every day and hide their pain. Don't accept an "I'm fine" from someone you suspect is NOT fine. Seek them out and be there for them. I promise you it will make a difference. Sometimes all a person needs is to know that their life does matter.<br />
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So, here's my final word on this - there will be some people that no matter what you say or do will make the choice to no longer live in pain. You must forgive yourself if you know that you did all you could to make a difference in their lives and prevent them from ending their own life - you did all you could do. If you did not do all you could do. If you were distant or avoided their dark side- all I can say is this is guilt you have to live with because people who are that depressed need support and you made the choice to not provide that support.<br />
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Take 11 minutes to listen to Kevin Breel talk about what it is like to be a person with depression and suicidal. He could be someone you know!!!<br />
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Here's a song I sing often - from one of my favorite movies & TV shows - MASH:<br />
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I have written a few other articles about suicide and depression - check them out: <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2017/01/my-story-is-not-ending-project.html">My story is not over!</a>; <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/06/henry-rollins-gives-advice.html">Henry Rollins gives-advice</a>; <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/07/depression-in-school-aged-children.html">Depression in school-aged children</a>; and many others.<br />
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<span data-offset-key="a4f79-0-0">(Image: photo of a brown and tan dragonfly and quote from Chester Bennington (frontman for the rock band Linkin Park)- "You're constantly trying to prove yourself, even after you've made it.")</span></div>
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<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" tabindex="0">(Image: blue and black dragonfly surrounded by blades of grass that are tinted grey and a quote from Orson Scott Card's book 'Ender's Shadow'- "In my view, suicide is not really a wish for life to end.' 'What is it then?' 'It is the only way a powerless person can find to make everybody else look away from his shame. The wish is not to die, but to hide.")</span></div>
JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-15107232654560642462018-03-05T06:00:00.000-05:002018-03-05T07:38:17.452-05:00Motivational Monday - 3 ways to feel more secure and safe!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 18pt;">The world is a crazy place! We can be told that the chance of getting murdered, raped, or harmed in a
terrorist attack are actually
statistically small but that doesn't ease anxiety and fear. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Turn on the news, and you will see a lot
of negative in the world around you. I want you to know that you do have
some power and control over your own emotions. You can reduce these
feelings of anxiety and fear for yourself and your loved ones.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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3 Ways to feel more secure and safe:</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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1~ Stop fueling the fire of negative!
What we focus on we expand so reduce the amount of time you are watching,
reading, and interacting with the negative events. Get just enough
information to be informed and then turn the TV off or put on something
positive. Read only one or two articles in a day - don't let it consume
you. Finally, do NOT post propaganda of any kind on your
social media or interact with those who do post this kind of information.
If you are the kind of person who feels the need to "educate"
others on the reality of a situation, please
understand that you are NOT educating anyone. Each person has their own
beliefs, and a post on social media will
not change anyone's point of view.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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2~ Know who really matters to you in your
life! Make a list of the people in your life that matter to you. We
have a lot of people in our lives that are surface people. Surface people
are the ones that we don't connect with at a deeper level. You need to
know exactly who matters to you in your
life so you can spend more energy on them and less energy on the surface
people. Once you have your list made you need to take time each week to
stay connected to each of those people. You may not have had contact with
them for years, but that's okay - reach
out to them now. If someone matters to you
then they should know it! If
something were to happen to you or someone who is important to you and you have
been staying connected it is more comforting. Reach out and let
others know they matter.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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3~ Finally, Embrace the pain and bad things happening! Bad things
will happen, and you have control over
how you deal with this pain and negative events. Put joy back in your life no matter what is going
on in the outside world! Here's my best mentor - Leo Buscaglia - watch
and enjoy!!!</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-59123654041181122562018-02-27T06:00:00.000-05:002018-02-28T06:44:05.761-05:00Depression in school-aged children especially those with disabilities <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><b><u>A true story about depression – this could be you: </u></b></span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A student, "Thomas." has a learning disability and an IEP (the type of LD doesn’t matter as any will fit here for this story). He knows that he doesn’t learn like the other students, is often excluded by his peers (bullied as well), and feels overwhelmed in the school environment. Over time Thomas became depressed, he refused to attend school, and eventually, he contemplated suicide. His parents have always been strong advocates for their son and contacted the school seeking help. The parents were surprised when instead of receiving support, they were attacked and blamed for his current situation. The school principal became defensive and stated that the parents are at fault and they “need to work with them, not against them.” The guidance counselor also condemned the parents stating as a counselor she is too busy to address all the needs of the students and she has done nothing wrong waiting for over a day to return the phone call. The parents got help for their son outside of the school district but were not able to obtain appropriate support at the school which was the source of the problem. </span></span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">September is Suicide Awareness week, and October is Depression Awareness Month, so I want to address an issue that is often brushed aside and minimized. It is depression. Depression is one of the most common mental disorders, and according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 1 in 11 children will experience clinical depression before the age of 14. Furthermore, the risk of depression increases as a child gets older and is the leading cause of disability among Americans ages 15-44 according to the World Health Organization (WHO). Depression affects a person’s entire physical and mental well-being. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Did you know that students with learning disabilities (LD) have statistically higher accounts of depressions than their peers without LD? Having a disability makes attending school challenging. Students with disabilities know that their lives are not under their control, they are painfully aware that they don’t fit in, have academic failures, and experience a number of social rejections. Unfortunately, depression is not addressed in schools (another forbidden “D” word). Many if not all kids with learning disabilities experience Learned Helplessness and this does NOT mean the child is coddled by their parents! Read this article to educate yourself on <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-importance-of-changing-learned.html">Learned Helplessness</a>!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">One of the reasons depression is not discussed, is shame. Parents already experience a variety of emotions regarding having a child with a disability. To make matters worse, teachers, counselors, school psychologists, and administrators often blame parents for the child’s academic struggles and behaviors. I am frequently in meetings where school staff members give parenting advice and have blatantly stated that the child wouldn’t have these difficulties if the parents would only…“read with the child, help with homework, stop doing the child’s homework, discipline consistently, stop cuddling the child, reduce their social/sports schedule, increase their social/sports schedule”, and the list is endless. When parents already feel responsible for their child’s struggles these comments only make the situation worse, not better. This “blame the parents” approach makes it more difficult for the parents to bring up concerns about depression and the school staff perceiving the symptoms of depression as a parenting problem.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">The second reason depression is not discussed is that people don’t know the symptoms of depression in children and adolescents, especially ones with a disability. The symptoms of depression are often common signs of other problems, and the severity of these symptoms is not taken seriously. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">The following are some symptoms of depression (these will be unique to each person):</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Irritability, anger, angry outbursts </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Continuous feelings of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness – feeling melancholy or sad most of the day</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Withdrawal from family and friends</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Over clinging to parents</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Feelings of anxiety, phobias</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Increased sensitivity to rejection or criticism</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Changes in appetite - either increased (weight gain) or decreased (weight loss)</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Changes in sleep (sleeplessness, too much sleep)</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Crying, temper tantrums, or sulking</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Difficulty concentrating</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Memory loss</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Fatigue (tiredness) low or decreased energy</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Physical Complaints or chronic pain (stomach aches, headaches) that do not respond to treatment (possible real physical problem or feigning illness)</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Digestive Disorders</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Reduced ability to function during activities at home or with friend, in school, extracurricular activities, and in hobbies or interests</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Feelings of worthlessness or guilt</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Getting into trouble, increased behavior problems</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Inability to experience pleasure or excitement even when doing activities that were pleasurable</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Mania or putting on a good front by being over happy</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Experimentation with drugs or alcohol</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Thoughts or talk of death or suicide</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 16px;">To get a direct perspective of what depression it is like for a popular non-learning disabled student watch this video of Kevin Breel (Confessions of a Depressed Comic): Watch one of the two - sometimes phones do not allow a video to play so you have two options to choose from, but they are the same video!</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3yqXeLJ0Kg">Kevin Breel (Confessions of a Depressed Comic)</a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">Depression can be treated and children experiencing depression MUST be treated because if they do not get help, it will only get worse. According to the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI), once a child experiences depression, the child is at risk of developing another depression within five years. Eventually, the child may contemplate or attempt suicide. Did you know that according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, suicide is the third leading cause of death for 5-15 year-olds? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">If we continue to minimize depression, we risk losing children to suicide. Is this a risk we want to take? <b> NO!</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;">So, make sure you, as a parent know what to look for regarding depression. Ask the school staff members to also be educated on depression and look for signs and symptoms in all children. The earlier this is caught, the easier it is to treat.<span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 15.3333px;">(Image: black and white photo of a student sitting at a computer desk with books and a computer on the top of the desk and the student is sitting with his/her head down being held up by his/her hands with elbows resting on the desk. Quote from Stephanie Sergent Daniel's article 'Reading Disabilities Put Students at Risk for Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviours and Dropping out of School' - "In our study, poor readers were three times more likely than typical readers to consider or attempt suicide and six times more likely to drop out of school. Educators and parents should be aware of the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors among adolescents with reading problems.")</span></span></div>
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(Image: a figure sitting with their hands clasped and their head down and the words "Did you know? 1 in 11 children will experience clinical depression before the age of 14 & suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 5-15 year-olds? It's time to talk about depression")</div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-48368755181878646542018-01-02T06:00:00.000-05:002018-01-02T06:40:28.875-05:00The 2 things you need to do to make 2018 great<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here we go again folks~ Another year has begun! So are you full of hope and excitement thinking that this could be an amazing year? Well, you should be excited it will be positive because what we focus on we will expand. So, if you are focused on the positive in your life every day this positive will expand. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Now, remember this doesn't mean you will have a perfect year! It is important to make mistakes ~ check out this <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2015/12/resolution-to-make-mistakes.html">Resolutions post</a> to learn why. Don't think that if you focus on being perfect you will be perfect because there is no such thing as perfect and this only makes you have unrealistic expectations (which will only lead to disappointment). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here are 2 things you need to do today to get your year off to the right start~</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">1. Reflect back on the lessons you have learned in 2017. These lessons may come from positive events and discoveries but most likely they come from events where things didn't work out as you expected. Reward yourself for learning these lessons and acknowledge that you plan on living life based on these lessons learned (AKA: Don't repeat these mistakes). Now, write down 1-3 goals you want to achieve this year - make them realistic goals. Every day in 2018 you must do at least one thing to work toward these goals. So for example, if you have a goal of building a stronger relationship or business than every day you must do something to make this happen. The key is your intent every day is to work toward your goals.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">2. Write down 1-3 things you will NOT do in 2018. These can be things you already don't do such as ~ "I will not waste money on a gym membership." This can be something more challenging such as ~ "I will not beat myself up mentally when I make mistakes." This one may be harder but you will have to remember that when you do make a mistake and start belittling yourself you stop and say "nope, I'm not going to keep doing this." The key to this resolution is to give yourself a different kind of power. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I'm looking forward to our adventures together in 2018! On this journey together we will learn a lot, grow emotionally & spiritually, and eventually, we will soar! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Happy New Year my Dragonfly Friends~</span><br />
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-12457855246230428572017-12-18T06:00:00.000-05:002017-12-18T11:26:31.860-05:00Not everyone likes Christmas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Today is Christmas! Some people are not celebrating Christmas due to religious reasons, but there are also people not celebrating today for other reasons. There are even people who are celebrating today, but it is only for show. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">This post today is for those who struggle with December and Christmas. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">You don't have to explain to others why you don't celebrate or like this time of year. In fact, don't worry about having to explain because most of the time other people won't even notice because they are caught up in their own lives & your life will be oblivious to them. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">I just wanted you to know that you are not alone out there. There are probably more of us than you know. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Remember to keep positive and just ignore all those things that bring you pain, sorrow, unhappiness... Let them go! Focus on the positive things you have in your life and the positive people who make it better. It is hard to let go of our past, but I know we must to keep on going. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Special message~~~ Thanks for being a part of my Hero's Journey. Together we are stronger. Support and trust are difficult but vital so thanks for never giving up on me & know I will not give up on you! As the narrator of my life, I am choosing to perceive it the way I want it to be and not the way others want me to see the world. Always know I have deep love and devotion to you, and you will always be in my heart! Because of this love, I will make everyday magical I will just make today, Christmas, more magical for myself in my own special way! </span><br />
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-30008089265072107062017-12-12T06:00:00.000-05:002017-12-12T07:18:22.639-05:00We all have Bias - learn to stop being so judgmental<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Re-sharing - a post I wrote back in June 2013 but think it needs to be addressed again! </div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">There has been a lot of discussion in the media
about racism, sexism, homophobia, equality… (There is no need to identify these
stories because they could be any story; even your own story of being oppressed,
discriminated against, of judged). I will address these issues because they are vital
to making the world a better place; so we can do better now that we will know
better! To do this we must first understand
implicit bias and confirmation bias. EVERYONE
makes judgments based on both of these biases.
They are rooted in our upbringing and may be so deep you are not aware
they exist. But do not think that you are
not prejudice or bias because we all are; it’s human nature. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><u><b>Understanding Bias:</b></u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Implicit bias is the unconscious attitudes and
beliefs that can be expressed overtly or covertly. These implicit biases develop early in our
lives and can occur even if we believe we have no biases toward others. Implicit bias can be measured (Harvard has
done some great research in this area).
These biases are not only about race but also about: age, disabilities,
religion, gender, and so on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Watch this video of Alan Alda taking this test
and explain implicit bias.</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxnekZRRxfR9sGGIWL0N0IYkTjboPlMKp2zCZ8ZYcu0fWweZXkxVzzQ6Brd604c_Fi_zaBzBQEWqWWMLpJeng' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RSVz6VEybk">Alan Alda doing the Implicit Bias test at Harvard</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Here’s the link to check your own implicit
bias: <a href="https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html">Implicit Bias Test</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">People do not base their decisions and opinions
on fact but instead on confirmation bias.
Confirmation bias is the process of paying attention to information
about a person/topic/issue that confirms (validates) your belief/opinion and
ignoring, minimizing, or rationalizing the information that does not support
your belief/opinion. The more
emotionally charged an issue or topic is the more this bias occurs. The recent political race is a perfect
example of confirmation bias. If a
person liked one presidential candidate then most of the things that candidate
said or did was spun in a positive light.
The other candidate could have done or said the exact same things but
these would have been seen in a negative light. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Here’s a quick video that explains confirmation
bias:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xMaR8au-YU">Confirmation Bias</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Our brains automatically engage in low-effort
information processing which consists of stereotyping and judgments (implicit
bias). We then look for information
that validates these beliefs and opinions while we ignore or minimize
information that disproves these beliefs and opinions (confirmation bias). This happens with <b>EVERYONE!</b> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">This can change only if we do a few things: First, we need to acknowledge and accept that
we have biases. We need to be openly
admit these to ourselves. Second, we
need to willingly look at all the evidence and use our</span><b style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"> OWN </b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">critical thinking
skills. Decisions need to be made based
on evidence (not only the evidence you want to look at - that's confirmation bias). This is not easy because
your biases will get in the way. We
expect others to be </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">emphatic</span></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> to understand us, our points of view, and accept
our values and beliefs but we often don’t practice empathy to others. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Remember that empathy is NOT feeling what
another person feels it is UNDERSTANDING the other person’s emotions, experiences,
situations… It does not mean that you
have to agree with the person but that you understand why they believe what
they believe and feel what they feel.
When you have empathy you don’t try to change another person’s belief to
your belief. You don’t judge others
because empathy is the antidote to bias, bigotry, and bullying!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">When people become aware (conscious) of the
potential for prejudice, they often attempt to correct for it and are less
likely to exhibit bias behaviors (overt and covert). Nevertheless, just understanding implicit
bias and confirmation bias is not enough.
Actions, with the intent to do better, must occur on a daily basis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Please watch the final video of Oprah speaking
about Maya Angelou words “when you know better, you do better.” (If you have not watched any of the other
videos than please watch this one.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx447ShQLeE">Lessons Oprah learned from Maya Angelou</a></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-12743870925461139122017-11-24T06:00:00.000-05:002017-11-24T07:47:46.371-05:00Things I learned from Randy Pausch<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Randy Pausch touched my heart and changed my life. </span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Although he was on my list of people I admire and people I wanted to meet so I can learn from, I never had that opportunity because he passed away July 25, 2008.</span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I still visit with Randy frequently from re-reading his books, re-watching his videos, and talking to him in the universe usually asking, “Randy, what would you do here?” or “Randy, what advice do you have for me today?”</span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Things I learned from Randy:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">1.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“It is important to have specific dreams.” The key to this isn’t knowing your dream but knowing what precisely you want from your dream. Sometimes what you think is the dream is not the real dream and people achieve this dream and are disappointed or people can’t reach this dream and therefore they quit altogether. So it is vital to know exactly what it is you are really dreaming of achieving!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">2.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.” This is sometimes a hard one but I have to remind myself that I didn’t get what I wanted and my expectations did not occur but I sure did learn a lot of lessons. Life is about lessons. When I have events that are disappointing because I did not get what I want I often ask Randy, “what was I supposed to learn from that?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">3.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.” This was advice to his daughter and he's right; actions really do speak louder than words so you must remember to watch the behaviors of others --they are very telling. Also, pay attention to your own behaviors because others are watching your actions and that is how you are being judged – they are not judging you by your words! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">4.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">“Proper apologies have three parts:<br />1) What I did was wrong.<br />2) I feel bad that I hurt you.<br />3) How do I make this better?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I work hard to practice this and want my children to own their mistakes and practice this apology as well. The world would be such a better place if everyone had the courage to say they were sorry. (A Previous blog post on<a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/03/spiritual-sunday-saying-im-sorry-and.html"> saying sorry</a>).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There are many more quotes I love (some added as picture quotes for my Facebook pages – see below).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Watch Randy’s video of The Last Lecture! I promise you will not be disappointed and your life will be impacted!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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(Image: photo of a metal sculptured dragonfly on a brick wall and a quote from Randy Pausch's book 'The Last Lecture' - <span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">They’re there to stop the other people.”</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> "</span><br />
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(Image: photo of a sun rising or setting and a quote from Randy Pausch's 'The Last Lecture' - <span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a bad place to be.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.”</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> )</span><br />
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(Image: clipart of a group of multi-racial children playing cards and a quote from Randy Pausch's book 'The Last Lecture' - <span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> )</span><br />
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(Image: photo of a Caucasian child wearing a cape and mask with his/her fist in the air and a quote from Randy Pausch's book 'The Last Lecture' - <span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“There’s a lot of talk these days about giving a child self-esteem.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It is not something you give; it’s something you have to build.”</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> )</span></div>
JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-58016997536539373752017-11-21T06:35:00.000-05:002018-11-13T09:36:19.018-05:00Way to help build a child's reading self-concept<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Children with reading difficulties need some help in improving their reading self-concept. Reading self-concept is the belief the child has about their reading abilities. Low reading self-concepts can eventually lead to low self-esteem. Students with low reading self-concept are less likely to read for pleasure. Increasing reading self-concept is just as important to improving basic reading skills. This reading program looks promising. It is <b>not</b> to replace an OG based reading approach for students with dyslexia but a supportive and complementary program. I'd suggest this is something future educators from colleges and universities could participate in this program with schools to help build the reading self-concept of students. </span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: 10pt;">(Image: clipart of a mouse looking at a book and a quote from the research by Hornery, Seaton, Tracey, Craven, & Yeung - "</span><span style="text-indent: 47.9333px;">A responsible course of action for educators to take is to consult research in a range of disciplines to ensure the most potent interventions are available for children with reading difficulties.")</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Australian Journal of Educational & Developmental Psychology. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Vol 14, 2014, pp<b>. </b>131-143<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 100%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Enhancing reading skills and reading self-concept of children with reading difficulties: Adopting a dual approach intervention<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Samantha Hornery</span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: 5.5pt; position: relative; top: -5.5pt;">a</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">, Marjorie Seaton</span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: 5.5pt; position: relative; top: -5.5pt;">b1</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">, Danielle Tracey</span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: 5.5pt; position: relative; top: -5.5pt;">a</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">, Rhonda G. Craven</span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: 5.5pt; position: relative; top: -5.5pt;">b </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">& Alexander S. Yeung</span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: 5.5pt; position: relative; top: -5.5pt;">b</span><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 130%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: 5.5pt; position: relative; top: -5.5pt;">a </span><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">University of Western Sydney<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 8.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-text-raise: 5.5pt; position: relative; top: -5.5pt;">b </span><i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Australian Catholic University<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">ABSTRACT</span><o:p></o:p></h1>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This article describes the need for, and the structure and contents of, a reading program to help support children disadvantaged by reading difficulties. The program, delivered by trained and supported volunteers, lasts for 15 weeks. It uses a novel dual approach which aims to improve students’ reading skills and simultaneously enhance their reading-related self-concepts. As there is scant literature available on how to implement such a program, this article aims to address that limitation by demonstrating to educators how such a dual approach to enhancing reading skills and reading self-concept can be operationalized.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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As noted in the 2013 report of the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD; Thomson, De Bortoli, & Buckley, 2013), that evaluated the reading performance of teenagers from 65 countries, Australia is falling behind other industrialized countries in terms of the ever increasing gap in reading attainments between their most advantaged and disadvantaged children. Moreover, the Australian Curriculum, Assessment, and Reporting Authority (ACARA, 2010) report that reading difficulties affect up to 30% of Australian primary school children. Such a large percentage of children with reading difficulties constitutes a significant problem as the effects of reading failure are devastating for individual children, Australian society, and the international community.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Reading failure has been linked to poor academic performance (Allsopp, Minskoff, & Bolt, 2005; Challen, King, Knapp, & McNally, 2008; Lerner, 2000), anxiety and depression (Maugban, 2003; Sideridis, 2007; Sideridis, Morgan, Padeliadu, Botsas, & Fuchs, 2006), high unemployment (ABS, 2006; Young & Browning, 2005), increased risk of turning to crime (Wolford, 2000), and increased risk of alcohol and drug dependency (McCrystal, 2008). Moreover, Entwisle, Alexander, and Olson (2005)<o:p></o:p></div>
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demonstrated that young children are launched into <i>achievement trajectories </i>when they start formal schooling or even before, and the patterns of these early trajectories are highly stable over childhood and adolescence. In education research there is broad support for the Mathew Effect – early small differences in academic outcomes predict large subsequent differences (Stanovich, 1986).</div>
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In sum, reading difficulties, if not tackled at early stages, have dire consequences. <span style="letter-spacing: .05pt;">The </span>futures of children with reading difficulties are compromised as reading failure restricts the opportunities available for individuals to participate in the workforce and contribute to the growth of a nation in a technologically advanced world market. To address the early onset of reading difficulties for children, a broader multidisciplinary approach needs to be taken, including applications of strong psychological, social science, and educational research. There is also a need to consider the revolutionary emphasis on positive psychology that focuses on how healthy and productive individuals seem to get the most from life. An innovative psychosocial reading intervention, Reading for Life (R4L), has been designed to offer potent new solutions for strengthening reading interventions by combining cutting-edge advances in self-concept interventions along with reading skills training. As there is scant literature available on how to implement such a program, in this article we aim to address that limitation by demonstrating to educators how to operationalise the dual approach of enhancing reading skills and reading self-concept simultaneously. The article begins with a description of the structure and contents of the R4L program, highlighting its theoretical underpinnings, and concludes with a summary of evidence of the program’s success, illustrating how R4L can serve as a vehicle to successfully counteract reading difficulties in schools worldwide using trained<span style="letter-spacing: -.25pt;"> </span>volunteers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Structure and Content of R4L<o:p></o:p></h2>
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Volunteering reading programs in schools are not new. R4L, however, is unique for many reasons. R4L aims to complement the current provisions for children in schools by offering one-to-one intensive support based on sound educational research and practice. R4L goes further than many reading programs that simply have volunteers reading with children. The goal is not only to enhance the reading skills of participating children but also to encourage them to feel good about themselves as learners (i.e., a healthy self-concept about reading). Children work through a series of engaging activities to improve reading skills of sight word identification, phonological awareness, reading accuracy, and reading comprehension.<o:p></o:p></div>
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R4L was designed to capitalize on theories from reading and self-concept research to produce an effective reading intervention that takes into account both cognitive and psychosocial factors. Reading activities, based on best-practice research, form the basis of the intervention, as children with reading difficulties learn core skills for literacy. Phonological awareness, a strong predictor of future reading success (DEST, 2005; NICHD, 2000; Rose, 2006) and sight word identification, an important skill to reduce cognitive load when reading (Adams, 1990) comprise two large components of the program.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Metacognitive strategy training during supported reading activities (Rankin-Erickson & Pressley, 2000; Purdie & Ellis, 2005) is also included, by providing the children with a bookmark containing reading strategies. Throughout these activities, attributional retraining and performance feedback are utilized to develop children’s reading self-concept, specifically their perceptions of their abilities and feelings about those abilities (Brophy & Good, 1986; Craven, Marsh, & Debus, 1991). The structure and contents of the intervention have therefore been informed by research findings in education and educational psychology pertaining to children’s reading and reading self-concept.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hence, the program includes aspects of both reading and related self-concept development. The content of the program provides routine and predictability for children, yet contains a variety of activities to encourage engagement and interest. To maximize the impact of the program each session is structured to incorporate specific skills required for successful reading. Systematic evaluations of mentoring programs have provided evidence that the relationship between adults and children in a mentoring capacity, as with R4L, has an effect on children’s life potential (Du Bois, Holloway, Valentine, & Cooper,<o:p></o:p></div>
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2002). The children work with a trained volunteer (referred to as a ‘reading buddy’) each week for fifteen weeks throughout R4L, receiving support and encouragement for their efforts in reading.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wide Involvement in R4L<o:p></o:p></h2>
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There are many key stakeholders involved in the R4L program: the children, the volunteers (known as reading buddies), the trainers, the teachers, and the parents. One of the key elements for success in R4L is the relationship between the volunteer reading buddy and the child. Careful matching of buddies based on gender and similar interests fosters this relationship. It begins with assessing children’s reading skills and self-concept and culminates in a final celebration party at school to acknowledge children’s successful participation in the program. The initial assessment is crucial because when attempting to address the disadvantages of the children, it is important to first identify how they differ from their more able<span style="letter-spacing: -1.75pt;"> </span>peers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The reading buddies, the volunteers who deliver the R4L program, participate in a three-hour training session to learn how to use the materials. The training generally occurs after the pre-testing in the school so the trainer can talk about the school and children and help to situate the buddies to the individual school environment and specific children in the program. The buddies are taken through each activity, step-by- step, and have opportunities to practice the games with each other. Throughout the program, buddies are able to contact a reading teacher or Educational Psychologist for support. A further two-hour support session is available to reading buddies half way through the program to discuss any difficulties, revise sections of the program, and share experiences. This training and support helps to ensure R4L is implemented correctly. A key staff member from the school may attend the training session. Their attendance helps the buddies feel knowledgeable about the school and signifies the value that the school places on the program.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Reading buddies plan and then attend an orientation session at the school to meet their children, the classroom teachers, and the children’s parents. This occurs prior to the weekly sessions. During the orientation session, the school principal discusses the routines of the school with the buddies to help them feel at ease within the school environment. The buddies also host a post-program party for the children to celebrate their achievements. The children receive a book from their reading buddies to foster a continued love of reading.<o:p></o:p></div>
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R4L also actively involves families and classroom teachers. Classroom teachers and parents are invited to a school orientation session where children first meet their reading buddy. They are also invited to the end-of-program celebration. During the program, children and reading buddies use a communication book to provide feedback to teachers and<span style="letter-spacing: -.8pt;"> </span>parents.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Assessing Reading Difficulties<o:p></o:p></h2>
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Classroom teachers are asked to identify children they believe would be suitable for the program who do not have any significant cognitive, behavioural, or mental health issues. These children often do not receive any specific additional funding support. Children participating in R4L are in the target age band, that is, Years 2 to 4 in New South Wales (NSW; but may be Years 3 to 5 in other states of Australia) and Years 3 to 5 (New Zealand) and are experiencing difficulty acquiring literacy skills. All children have written parental consent to participate in the program.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Each child, identified by the school, is tested before the program using standardized tests to determine their learning strengths and weaknesses and to provide a baseline for a final test. The testing is critical to monitor how participating children benefit from the program. Participating children are assessed by a psychologist or teacher at the beginning and again at the completion of the program to identify areas of growth. The battery of tests used includes two dimensions: reading skills and self-concept. Reading skills are assessed using: (a) the Neale Analysis of Reading Ability (Neale, 1999); (b) the Sutherland Phonological Awareness Test (Neilson, 2003); and (c) the Burt Word Reading Test (Gilmore, Croft, & Reid, 1981). Self-concept is assessed using the Self-Description Questionnaire I (Marsh, 1990).<o:p></o:p></div>
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A Holistic Intervention Addressing Reading Difficulties<o:p></o:p></h2>
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The central aspects of R4L are the intervention, a manual for the volunteers, activity materials, and training which prepares and supports the volunteers throughout the program’s duration. The R4L manual describes the process of administering the intervention over 15 sessions, each of which last for 45 minutes, and contains all of the necessary resources to work with the children, except for the reading books (which are provided by the child’s school). The R4L program is divided into six sections, named to represent a “race” to reading success: (a) Highlights (relationship between child and buddy); (b) Warm Up (sight words); (c) Stretching (phonological awareness); (d) The Main Event (reading); (e) Cool Down (transfer and generalization); and (f) Celebrating Effort/Ability (reading self-concept). Each of these activities is described below.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Highlights: Building a relationship<b>.<o:p></o:p></b></i></div>
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In this initial section of R4L, volunteers begin to develop a working relationship with their buddy. The volunteers pick up the child from his/her class and move to the designated reading location in the school. They are encouraged to demonstrate to the children in their tone and body language that they are excited to see the child again. During this initial five minutes of the session, volunteers initiate a friendly conversation with the child, such as asking the child about what they were doing in class, their week, their hobbies and interests, and what activity they are looking forward to in the session.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Volunteers are provided with a list of statements to prompt discussion with the children. Volunteers can select one or two statements during the initial discussion each week to gain more insight into the interests of the child. Statements include “My favourite time of day is …” and “If I could be any age I wanted, I would be …” Volunteers are also encouraged to finish some of these statements so that the relationship with the child is reciprocal. Research clearly demonstrates the importance of teachers displaying interest in children’s lives, and building warm teacher-student relationships. When this occurs, children experience enhanced emotional engagement in learning, reduced anxiety around learning, and higher student achievement (Croninger & Lee, 2001; Hughes & Kwok, 2006). For this reason, volunteers are encouraged to use the statements to build rapport with the child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Warm up: Sight words</i><b>.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Sight words are high frequency words, appearing regularly in written texts and often have irregular spellings, known as exception words (Moseley, 2004). Mastery of rapid sight word recognition develops independence in reading and enhances a child’s sense of control over the text and their willingness to take risks when approaching new reading passages (Hay, 1995; Henderson, 1982). Sight word reading is an important inclusion in R4L. This is the second section of R4L, the first where reading skills are introduced. The R4L pack provides volunteers with a list of commonly used sight words. This list is drawn from the publication, The Instant Words (Fry, Kress, & Fountoukidis, 2004). The Instant Words are presented in order of their frequency of appearance in the English language. The first 100 words in this list represent 65% of words in the English language (Fry, 1980), and are the result of an extensive literature search. This frequency order reduces the need for volunteers to assess children’s beginning level, as all children need to start at the first list, as these are the most important words to know by<span style="letter-spacing: -1.8pt;"> </span>sight.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Volunteers are provided with a clear script to explicitly introduce the sight words and resources, such as a sight word list, blank flash cards, coloured markers, and a recording form. The explicit teaching script<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>is<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>the<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>same<span style="letter-spacing: -.05pt;"> </span>each<span style="letter-spacing: -.05pt;"> </span>week,<span style="letter-spacing: -.05pt;"> </span>helping<span style="letter-spacing: -.2pt;"> </span>the<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>child<span style="letter-spacing: -.2pt;"> </span>to<span style="letter-spacing: -.2pt;"> </span>focus<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>on<span style="letter-spacing: -.05pt;"> </span>the<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>individual words<span style="letter-spacing: -.05pt;"> </span>rather<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>than<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>the<span style="letter-spacing: -.15pt;"> </span>activity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The child reads from the master list of sight words contained in the R4L manual. The volunteers record the children’s responses on the form provided. After eight errors have been made, reading stops and these eight sight words become the focus for the week’s activities. These eight words are written on a blank flash card by the volunteer and then copied by the child. This pair of cards is then used for a matching task, where children have one set laid out in front of them and are asked to “point to /word/”, “find the partner for /word/”, “give me /word/” and play a series of traditional card games (snap, snail, memory,<o:p></o:p></div>
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concentration, fish, bingo) using flashcards. These sight word cards are sent home for practice each week in the back of a communication book (used to communicate with parents and teachers), along with the instructions for these card games. In each session the set of cards from the previous session is checked and then new words are added as necessary (dependent upon how many of the eight previous words have been mastered).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Stretching: Phonological Awareness</i><b>.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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The stretching section was developed to reflect the strong predictive properties that phonological awareness has for reading competence (Juel & Meier, 1999; McNamara, Scissons, & Dahleu, 2005; Scarborough, 1998). The essential phonological awareness skills of rhyme, compound words, syllables, first sounds, last sounds, middle sounds, and vowel sounds have been included in their developmental sequence (Chard & Dickson, 1999; Ehri, Nunes, Stahl, & Willows, 2001). All children begin at rhyme and work their way through the activities. In each section there is a routine of sound identification and sound production. There is a script to introduce the skills, such as “Words rhyme when they sound the same at the end. Listen to these words: “pen and hen”. These words rhyme because they both end in the sound<o:p></o:p></div>
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/en/. Does men rhyme with pen and hen?” This is followed by five examples for the child to practice orally. Several card games (the same as those used in the sight word section) are then available for children to practice identifying the phonological awareness skill using a set of coloured playing cards, which have both the words and pictures printed on them. There is then a script for children to produce words with this phonological awareness skill, for example, “Tell me a word that rhymes with sun” and five examples for the child following this. More card games or specially designed game boards are available to provide practice for children in producing words with particular sounds. The scripts provide the explicit instruction necessary for children with reading difficulties (DEST, 2005; NICHD, 2000; Rose, 2006) to develop competence in critical phonological awareness skills, before having opportunities to practice these playing games (Charlton, Williams, & Mclaughlin, 2005; Etess, 2004). Volunteers are encouraged to work with the children at their own pace, providing them with the time they require to master each skill (Gredler, 2001).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Main event: Reading.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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This is the primary purpose of R4L, for volunteer reading buddies to read with their child. Activities are included that can be used before reading, during reading, and after reading to ensure that the children develop strategies to read better. During reading, the volunteers are provided with a series of decoding strategies, the Reading Helper, to assist children when they reach a word they cannot read.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The pre-reading activities are presented in a chatterbox for the children to cut out and fold. A chatterbox, sometimes known as a fortune-teller, is a puppet object with folded flaps children use to answer questions. Prediction before reading a book stimulates interest and allows the child to establish a knowledge base and meaningful context before reading the text for the first time. In these prediction activities, children are encouraged to consider the front cover of the book and think about what type of book they may be about to read, such as whether it will be a truthful or factual text compared with a humorous fictional tale. Often known as activating background knowledge (Duke & Pearson, 2002; Gersten, Fuchs, Williams, & Baker, 2001), this strategy helps make the reading process positive and successful for children. During reading, the children have their own copy of the reading helper strategies, in the form of a bookmark, to guide their approach to decoding tricky words. This bookmark contains a range of metacognitive strategies, such as “Are there any sounds in the word I already know” for children to rehearse when reading. Strategy instruction has been found to be effective for children with a range of learning difficulties (Purdie & Ellis, 2005; Rankin-Erickson & Pressley, 2000). The children are also encouraged to take the bookmark home and read with their parents (Forness, 2001; Jitendra, Edwards, Sacks, & Jacobson, 2004; Swanson, 2001). Reading buddies are provided with helpful instructions to implement the reading section. They are encouraged to be attentive and show interest while the child reads. When a child gets stuck on a word, volunteers are advised to pause to give the child a chance to<o:p></o:p></div>
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solve the problem on his/her own (approximately 5 seconds). If the child does not read the word correctly, the volunteer then asks the child to read the questions on the bookmark to aid in decoding. The volunteer praises the child if the word is read correctly, naming the strategy used by the child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On the back of the bookmark are a set of recall questions pertaining to when the story took place, where, who, and the order of events. These lower level comprehension questions, focusing on recall of details, encourage the children to remember the main events of the text. The focus of R4L is on improving the skills of reading, such as phonological awareness and sight words during the 15 sessions, and as such, recall of details is the extent of comprehension activities included within R4L.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In successive sessions, volunteers are encouraged to demonstrate good reading behaviours with their child. The children take their book home to practice with their parents during the week, an exercise known as Repeated Reading (NICHD, 2000; Therrien, 2004), and then spend a few minutes before starting their new book or re-reading the book with their buddy. The child and reading buddy take turns to read pages in the book and the child has an opportunity to demonstrate improved reading and confidence resulting from the repeated practice during the week. The inclusion of repeated reading and reading with a model capitalise on research into effective reading practice (Kuhn & Stahl, 2003; NICHD, 2000; Rasinski, 2006) and increase the opportunities for success for the children involved.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Cool Down: Transfer and generalization</i><b>.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Many children are able to use the strategies in the context they are taught but experience difficulty when applying this knowledge to new situations, particularly back in the classroom. Transfer and generalization are the goal in any educational program (Lovett, Barron, & Benson, 2003; Vaughn, Gersten, & Chard, 2000). This activity allows the child to see the value of what they have been learning with their buddy. They also have an opportunity to apply their knowledge in a supportive environment. This is the “how (do I do it?)” and “why (am I learning this?)” for the child. In the “Cool Down”, children are asked to select their favourite page of the book they have just read and identify sight words they know and elements of phonological awareness they have learnt so far (rhyming words, words with two syllables, words with the same first sound, compound words). This activity helps the child see the relevance of the activities they have been learning in the program and to identify real-life applications of their new<span style="letter-spacing: -1.75pt;"> </span>skills.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Celebrating effort/ability: Reading self-concept</i><b>.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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In the final section of the program, Celebrating Effort, children and reading buddies record their hard work in the Communication Book, a separate book to the R4L manual. Children are encouraged to identify areas in which they have done well during the session and hear praise from their buddy. This section is an instrumental component of R4L and serves to enhance the child’s self-concept of their reading skills and attitudes. Self-concept has a positive influencing role in the outcomes of education (Marsh & Craven, 2006; Marsh & Yeung, 1997).<o:p></o:p></div>
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Much can be gained in pedagogical practices from research in the field of psychology. Currently, psychological research is concerned with identifying the characteristics of individuals who are healthy, productive, and successful. There is overwhelming support to suggest that a positive self-concept can significantly influence the life opportunities for children (Chapman, 1988; Marsh & Craven, 2006; OECD, 2003). There is also a growing body of literature addressing the contributions that self-concept makes to the academic outcomes of children (Chapman, 1988; Marsh & Craven, 2006). These findings have enormous potential to maximise the potency of reading interventions and assist children with reading difficulties to learn to read and feel better about themselves, and thus enabling them to participate in life pursuits. As such, self-concept theory and research have the potential to improve the efficacy of educational interventions. Research in this area has demonstrated that self-concept and achievement are mutually reinforcing, sharing a dynamic causal relation, such that improvements in self-concept lead to improvements in performance, and vice versa (Marsh & Craven, 2006). Hence, interventions synthesising<o:p></o:p></div>
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both skill-based and self-concept enhancement strategies will be the most potent interventions available for children.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In a meta-analysis examining the effects of self-concept enhancement interventions, O’Mara, Marsh, Craven, and Debus (2006) found that interventions using praise or feedback yielded the strongest effect size for self-concept interventions (<i>d </i>= 1.13<i>)</i>. Performance feedback is an integral component of the learning process and is most effective when it is positive and immediate (Hattie, 2009). Two types of feedback, attributional feedback and internally focused feedback, have been demonstrated to be effective in promoting increased self-concept for children (Craven, Marsh, & Burnett, 2003; Craven et al., 1991), including those with learning difficulties (Tabassam & Grainger, 2002). These have been incorporated into the R4L intervention.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Internally focused feedback is a strategy designed to promote children to internalise praise for specific behaviours for use again in the future. This structured feedback involves five key elements: (1) acquiring the child’s attention; (2) publically praising the specific behaviour, (3) generalising this behaviour to situations beyond the present occurrence, (4) encouraging the child to internalise the behaviour, and (5) modeling the internalisation for the child (Craven et al., 1991). Children are provided with performance feedback, coupled with statements to encourage them to realise their influence on the outcome. An example includes, “You have read that story well. You’re doing very well in reading. You must feel good about your abilities in reading. I do too”. This statement identifies competence in the specific task of reading a story, generalises this to the greater subject area of reading, encourages the child to internalize the feedback, and finally model the internalisation. These statements are included in the R4L intervention.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Attributional feedback is a strategy designed to promote children to attribute their success in a situation to the effort applied, their abilities, or their selection of the most appropriate strategy. This structured feedback involves three key elements: (1) acquiring the child’s attention; (2) publicly praising the specific behaviour; and (3) attributing current success to the child’s efforts, abilities, or correct strategies used (Craven et al., 1991; Robertson, 2000). Importantly, children must be presented with tasks that they can succeed in to provide the opportunity for attributional feedback to be implemented (Robertson, 2000). Attributional retraining interventions encourage children to stabilise their perception of their ability, and consider their efforts and task difficulty to influence academic outcomes (Brophy & Good, 1986). An example includes “The reason your reading has been so good lately is that you’re using good methods and you keep on trying”. This statement identifies competence in the specific task of reading and attributes this success to the strategies being used. The enhancement of self-concept is significant for long-term benefits of interventions (Marsh & Craven, 2006), a desirable trait for any intervention.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Evaluation of a Dual Approach to Reading Intervention</span><o:p></o:p></h1>
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The central aim of this article is to demonstrate how educators can develop and implement interventions strengthened by a dual focus. To showcase the program’s efficacy, a brief evaluation of the program is provided here (for a full discussion see Hornery, 2011). The qualitative evaluation was conducted using semi-structured interviews with children (<i>n </i>= 52; Years 1- 4), parents (<i>n </i>= 15), teachers (<i>n </i>= 28), and volunteer reading buddies (<i>n </i>= 31). As the purpose of the interviews was to highlight the good practices of the program in facilitating both reading self-concept and reading skills, only children who had participated in the program were interviewed. They were asked to reflect on their experience and provide feedback. Interview data were analysed using a thematic analysis approach (Patton, 2002; Teddlie & Tashakkorie, 2009).<o:p></o:p></div>
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Two research questions were posed asking about the impact of R4L on children’s reading achievement and reading self-concept. The children reported having greater success in decoding new<o:p></o:p></div>
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words and the adult participants agreed that the children were better able to sound out new words as evidenced in the following quotes:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I sound out the letters and do the work. I used to not sound them out. (Child)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">He can break up the word and yes, try to break it up and read it from there and he’s trying, he’s learnt to pick up in the sounds. (Parent)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Parents, teachers, and the children themselves mentioned that the children were reading independently much more often. Parents reported an increase in the frequency and quantity of<span style="letter-spacing: -1.45pt;"> </span>independent reading displayed by their children and noticed that they were more confident and successful when reading at home. In fact, the increased frequency of autonomous reading was one of the most consistently mentioned changes in children’s reading behaviour and is illustrated in the following<span style="letter-spacing: -1.35pt;"> </span>quotes:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Sometimes at home I go and read four chapter books. (Child)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">She’s even started bringing books in for us to share in class and showing me what she’s reading at home. (Teacher)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Another often mentioned theme by participants was that the children’s confidence in reading improved during the program. Participants believed that the children were happier and more willing to read during and after participation in R4L. The children described feeling more capable of reading and having more skills in reading, indicative of improved reading self-concept and confidence. Teachers also reported observing improved confidence in children after participating in R4L. The following quotes demonstrate this improved confidence in reading:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">My reading is better. (Child)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I have seen her be so much more confident, she is happy to read and wants to show me her reading a harder book, it’s great. (Parent)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s rewarding to see them, you know, every week get a little bit more confident and a little bit more, you know, out there with their reading. (Volunteer Reading Buddy)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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In an additional theme to emerge, the reading buddies recognized the contribution of the games aspect to children’s learning and the unique individual and special time the children received when working with their reading buddy, with most reading buddies identifying the one-to-one attention as a successful element of R4L.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Kids don’t really realise that perhaps through the game they’re actually learning so that element of being able to teach them something through the aspect of fun is such a positive to this program. (Volunteer Reading buddy)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">When you’re working with a child one on one I think the child benefits a lot because they can’t get that level of attention in the classroom. (Volunteer Reading<span style="letter-spacing: -1.35pt;"> </span>Buddy)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Classroom teachers acknowledged the benefit of the additional assistance children with reading difficulties received during R4L and were particularly grateful for the one-to-one aspect of the program<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 98%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s the one on one that we can’t provide them in the classroom for the 6 hours that they’re here. We can provide them with a minute here, a minute there, 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. We can’t provide them with what the girls can do and that, listening to them read a whole book with no interruptions, it’s like, that one on one, that consistent time every week, is fantastic, that’s what I think that is, it’s just wonderful. (Teacher)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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These positive affirmations of the program demonstrate that R4L can serve as a vehicle to successfully counteract reading difficulties in schools using trained volunteers, and highlight the potency of adopting a dual approach to tackle reading difficulties. Future research should, however, adopt a more empirical evaluation of the program, including the use of a control group.</div>
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<h2>
Summary<o:p></o:p></h2>
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Establishing, enhancing, and sustaining reading achievement and reading self-concept are vital ingredients in assisting children to take full advantage of their potential and to realise a range of healthy and fruitful lifetime outcomes. It is the responsibility of educators to identify the most effective ways to facilitate the development of both reading skills and self-concept in children. Reading failure is a considerable issue worldwide and much attention has been given internationally to the causes, incidence, and treatment of these difficulties (DEST, 2005; NICHD, 2000; Rose, 2006, 2009). Educational research provides educators with possible paths for remediating reading difficulties. A responsible course of action for educators to take is to consult research in a range of disciplines to ensure the most potent interventions are available for children with reading difficulties. R4L capitalises on research in reading and educational psychology and as such complements existing programs and strategies available to teachers to break the cycle of failure for children with reading difficulties. The dual strategy of incorporating both skills and self-concept interventions, as demonstrated in the current article, has the ability to unlock the full potential of disadvantaged and marginalised children and provide them with the opportunity to participate fully in society to their own benefit and that of the nation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Acknowledgments<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The authors would like to express their gratitude to our research partners. A sincere thank you is extended to both Learning Links and the Unilever Australasian Foundation for their expertise, vision, and commitment to supporting children in need. The authors are also thankful for the funding provided by an Australian Research Council Linkage Grant which made this research possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD; 2003). <i>The Pisa 2003 assessment framework: Reading, mathematical and scientific literacy. </i>Paris: OECD.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Patton, M. Q. (2002). <i>Qualitative evaluation and research methods. </i>Newbury Park, CA: SAGE Publications.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Purdie, N., & Ellis, L. (2005). <i>Literature review. A review of the empirical evidence identifying effective interventions and teaching practices for students with learning difficulties in Years 4, 5 and 6. </i>(No. RFT PRN 3538). Melbourne: Australian Council for Educational Research.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rankin-Erickson, J. L., & Pressley, M. (2000). A survey of instructional practices of special education teachers nominated as effective teachers of literacy. <i>Learning Disabilities Research and Practice, 15</i>(4), 206-225. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1207/SLDRP1504_5"><span style="color: windowtext;">doi:10.1207/SLDRP1504_5</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Rasinski, T. V. (2006). Reading fluency instruction: Moving beyond accuracy, automaticity, and prosody. <i>The Reading Teacher, 59</i>(7)<i>, </i>704 – 706. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1598/RT.59.7.10"><span style="color: windowtext;">doi:10.1598/RT.59.7.10</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Robertson, J. S. (2000). Is attribution training a worthwhile classroom intervention for K-12 students with learning difficulties? <i>Educational Psychology Review, 12</i>(1), 111–134.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rose, J. (2006). <i>Independent review of the teaching of early reading. </i>London: Department for Education and Skills.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rose, J. (2009). <i>Identifying and teaching children and young people with dyslexia and literacy difficulties</i>. Nottingham: DCSF Publications<o:p></o:p></div>
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Scarborough, H. S. (1998). Predicting the future achievement of second graders with reading disabilities: Contributions of phonological awareness, verbal memory, rapid naming, and IQ. <i>Annals of Dyslexia, 48(1)</i>, 114-136.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sideridis, G. D. (2007).Why are students with learning disabilities depressed? A goal orientation model of depression vulnerability. <i>Journal of Learning Disabilities, 40, </i>526-539.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sideridis, G. D., Morgan, P., Botsas, G., Padeliadu, S., & Fuchs, D. (2006). Predicting learning disabilities based on motivation, metacognition, and psychopathology. <i>Journal of Learning Disabilities, 39, </i>215-229<i>.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Stanovich, K. E. (1986). Matthew effects in reading: Some consequences of individual differences in the acquisition of literacy. <i>Reading Research Quarterly, 21</i>, 360-406.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Swanson, H. L. (2001). Research on interventions for adolescents with learning disabilities: A meta- analysis of outcomes related to higher-order processing. <i>The Elementary School Journal, 101</i>(3), 331-348. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1086/499671"><span style="color: windowtext;">doi:10.1086/499671</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Tabassam, W. & Grainger, J. (2002). Self-concept, attributional style and self-efficacy beliefs of students with LD/ADHD with and without attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. <i>Journal of Learning Disabilities Quarterly, 25</i>(2), 141–151. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/1511280"><span style="color: blue;">doi:10.2307/1511280</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Wolford, B. I. (2000). Youth education in the juvenile justice system. <i>Corrections Today, 62</i>, 128–130. Young, G., & Browning, J. (2005). Learning disabilities/dyslexia and employment-A mythical view. In<o:p></o:p></div>
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G. Reid & A. Fawcett (Eds.), <i>Dyslexia in context: Research, policy and practice </i>(pp. 25–59).<o:p></o:p></div>
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London: Whurr.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="mailto:Marjorie.Seaton@acu.edu.au"><span style="color: blue; font-size: 10pt;">Marjorie.Seaton@acu.edu.au</span></a><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">+61 2 97014665<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Institute for Positive Psychology and Education (IPPE) Australian Catholic University<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">25A Barker Road, Locked Bag 2002, Strathfield NSW 2135, Australia<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-71757840514938189172017-10-23T06:00:00.000-04:002017-10-23T14:23:06.116-04:00How to Think Outside of the Box<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Let me share with you one of the coaching sessions I
have with clients. This works for
anyone! The goal of this session is to
learn about who you are and who you want to become. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">First –watch this video (don’t worry it is under 18
minutes)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 17px;"><b>Michael Bahr, Education Director for the Utah Shakespeare Festival</b></span></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz7GYtSjJl_sWemkJbJGwpkH7x_Rt4SLY4pQsWxB90rVrU-fVVpBcQ9c8Hyj62wG9yHTvsexBKYESCUSFysyA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aUJyDC_gT8">Direct Link for: Thinking outside of a box requires a box</a></span></div>
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*if there is not a video in the space above please click here to access the link</div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Second - Now let’s review a few things:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In order to be “outside of a box” you need to know the
box. <b>You are a box – your disability is
a box– your life is a box</b>. For each box
you need to comply with the following rules.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Rules:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">1.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Know
your box<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">2.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Embrace
your box<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">3.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Push
outside of the box<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">4.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Build
your own box - & live by the rules of the box<br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">5.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--></i><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><i>REPEAT</i><o:p></o:p></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Third – Start with one aspect of your life - here we will focus on your disability.</span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">1 – <i>Know yourself:</i>
Learn about your likes and dislikes. Define your values. Discover your passions and interests. </span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">2 – <i>Embrace the yourself: </i> Appreciate everything about you. Know you are not perfect so embrace your imperfections! Accept this is your life, interests, talents...</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">3 – <i>Push outside of yourself:</i> Don’t get comfortable inside this box of YOU - now you must challenge yourself to be outside of the box.
Go beyond what you think you can do and expand who you are.</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">4 – <i>Now build this new box:</i> Define what this new life looks like and live
this life. </span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">5 -<i> REPEAT:</i> You
must keep doing this or you will get stuck in a box again. Don’t ever stay in a box & never let
anyone keep you in a box. (<u><i>“Nobody puts
Baby in a corner!”</i> </u> Quote from Dirty
Dancing. *Sorry, my movie quote obsession
oozing out of me).</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Finally, you can do this with all aspects of your life
so go out there and get “outside the box!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-6202536529597059512017-10-17T07:30:00.000-04:002019-12-22T14:20:58.862-05:00How my disabilities are also my superpowers... Sharing my story!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>It is Dyslexia Awareness month and I want to share my story...</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span> <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>My story: Jill Marie-Grandstaff Lam (because I am dyslexic and ADD I don't eye-read fast so I added a lot of <b>short</b> video clips to help tell my story).</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium; line-height: 107%;">Dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADD </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">(plus anxiety and depression)</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> are genetic and strong in my family tree. Like many others, I didn't know what was wrong with me or the names dyslexia and dysgraphia. I also didn't know that I had Attention Deficit Disorder, I just thought everyone lived in the thoughts in their head. Here's an example of me in school and even now - </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I could always relate to these Ralph Phillips cartoons! My mind wanders because it thinks in creative ways. I tend to get lost in the stories in my own brain. Someday, I'd love to take time to write these stories down but due to my dyslexia and dysgraphia, that process isn't easy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I still don't know my math facts (times tables) and it wasn't because I was daydreaming during the lessons it was due to being dyslexic. My rote memory just isn't there. School was also challenging because I struggled with reading. I have NEVER been able to sound out an unknown word. I was taught Whole Language (insert eye-roll here and if you are educated about dyslexia I bet you did the eye-roll all on your own) and therefore was not taught phonics. I didn't even learn how to say some of the letter sounds correct until my own children were going through their private Orton-Gillingham tutoring. I will probably never be able to write a haiku poem because I have no idea how to separate words into syllables. People who can break words into syllables always try to teach me to do this after they learn that I can't but what they don't understand is I really CAN'T. When people do this I wonder if they would try to make a person who can't use their legs walk just because they themselves can walk. The same thing happens with learning a foreign language. I struggle with pronouncing English words so foreign words are even worse, yet people who speak another language make an assumption that I'm just not trying hard enough. I am trying as hard as I can! Finally, my reading fluency sucks. I can't even get half-way through the subtitles of a movie before the screen changes. I had to see each of the <i>Star Wars</i> movies 12 times before I completely read the opening words- (okay, those of you who know me well know I was thrilled to see each one a dozen times). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Yes, I struggled immensely in school from kindergarten to my Ph.D. program. Oh heck, I struggle every day with my disabilities! I could share some stories of heartache and pain, stories about how I never fit in and worked hard to hide my disabilities; but I will not share these stories today. I want to share with you 3 SUPERPOWERS I have BECAUSE of my disabilities. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">1: The Superpower of Empathy</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">My brain is not able to process language like a non-dyslexic brain but I have more mirror neurons than my peers which means I experience deeper levels of empathy. I knew from very early on that I felt the feelings of others. I used to take these feelings on as my own because I didn't know the difference between the other person's feelings and my own feelings. Here's a video of mirror neurons and empathy to help you understand! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">So how do I know I have more mirror neurons and excess empathy? I wish I could explain it or even prove it scientifically but I can't right now (working on that). I just know. Over the years I have developed this sixth sense so well that I am able to read even subtle body language and facial expressions of others. When I meet people I can tell exactly what they are feeling and experiencing. I can sense those around me that have this similar Superpower and it is often very strong in people with dyslexia. Let me point out that not everyone has this as a Superpower or even a strength. They may think they do because they have some mirror neurons and can show empathy but it is very different than what I am talking about; what I mean is an exceptional level of being able to feel exactly what another person is experiencing. For those of you who have it to this degree - you know exactly what I mean. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">2: The Superpower of Acceptance</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I not only have an abundance of mirror neurons and empathy because these are the strength of my brain, but I was also raised by parents who also have a brain wired for extra mirror neurons and empathy. My parents taught me to accept EVERYONE and to help those in need. I was blessed with acceptance and not judgment. I was taught the love of ear-reading and given audiobooks to listen to from Zig Ziglar, Earl Nightingale, Dale Carnegie... and many more. I was taught about Leo Buscaglia and his values. I live my life based on the teachings of Leo even when people are mean to me or treat me bad. Oh, you don't know Leo Buscaglia? Well then, here's a very short clip of him in action: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Doesn't he just make you smile? Well, that's my reaction. I have an intrinsic passion for the inclusion of everyone. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">3: The Superpower of Tenacity</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Having dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADD (plus anxiety and depression) is not easy and as a child, I didn't know anyone else like me so I knew that I was different. I was on a quest to find others like me, as well as, to find the real ME. I searched for answers in movies and books. In high school, I found the answer in Joseph Campbell's book<i> The</i> <i>Hero with a Thousand Faces</i> and knew that I was on my own Hero's Journey! I learned we are all on our own Hero's Journey and each movie and book took me on these adventures. The characters in these books and movies are like friends to me. I am not an outsider looking in but immersed in the stories as if I too were living them and experiencing the same adventures. I mastered my own Superpower skill of Tenacity! I don't give up. Watch my friend, Samwise Gamgee, explain exactly what I mean to Frodo Baggins:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Yes, I am a person with dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADD </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">(plus anxiety and depression)</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> but I am also a person with many Superpowers- Empathy, Acceptance, and Tenacity. In elementary and junior high my life was filled with shame and exclusion. In high school when I became "friends" with Joseph Campbell I heard my calling to help others. Like many, I refused this calling. I thought, who was I to help others- I am not worthy. Due to my inner tenacity, I took the leap of faith and headed off to college to pursue a degree in Psychology (I also have minors in Health Education and Marketing). With the help of all my Supernatural Aids (the characters of my movies and books), I went on to get a Master's degree in Clinical Counseling and became a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor with supervisory status and then entered Crossing the Threshold into the working world. I was taught how to diagnose all types of learning disabilities, worked in many areas of special education as a therapist, and eventually, I entered the Belly of the Whale by opening my own private practice as a Psycho-educational Diagnostician and Counselor in 2007- </span><a href="http://forestalliancecoaching.com/"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Forest Alliance Coaching</span></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> (and</span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/ForestAllianceCoaching?ref=hl"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> Forest Alliance Coaching FB page</span></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">). On my journey of helping others I have been down many Roads of Trials and I'm still on these roads but I have the tenacity to just keep going. I now have my Ph.D. in Psychology with a specialization in Educational Psychology.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">As I continue my journey I have ventured into many other areas where I can help others live a better life. A few years ago I started </span><a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The Dragonfly Forest</span></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> a blog where I can share insights and motivate others who are different and often have disabilities (ADHD, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, Asperger's...). Through The Dragonfly Forest blog, The Dragonfly Forest </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/TheDragonflyForest?ref=hl">FB page</a>, and my private practice</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> I have become even more involved in the disability community and now have Dragonfly friends all over the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">In early February 2013, I read about the Decoding Dyslexia movement in New Jersey and knew I was receiving another calling (one I didn't hesitate to answer). I contacted Deborah Lynam from DD-New Jersey and got started on Decoding Dyslexia Ohio by making a commitment to DD-NJ and then starting Decoding Dyslexia here in Ohio and created the </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Decoding.Dyslexia.OH?ref=hl"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Decoding Dyslexia Ohio Facebook page</span></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> The DD-OH journey has been an exciting one and I know that I was guided this way so I can continue to help make the lives of others a better place. I meet with the wonderful parents of children with dyslexia in Ohio and look forward to sharing this journey with them. The parents have been such a great support system as well and these parents suggested there be another Facebook group that focused Family Support (since the website and other FB pages were focused on school and legal issues) so </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/300497810098126/"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">DD-OH Family Support Group</span></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> page was started. I am so excited by all the adventures we will be having on this DD-OH journey and thrilled that God, the Higher Power, or the Universe guided me in this direction. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Here is one final video that I think really supports my life's journey and my Superpowers. Some of you will recognize a young Ben Foss (it was filmed in 2003 btw). I love being on this journey with some great people like this - and YOU! Thanks for sharing this journey with me! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15nOajd_7mo">Direct link to Inside the Hidden World of Dyslexia and ADHD</a></span></div>
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(Image: photo of me, Dr. Jill Lam with Ben Foss both standing and smiling at the camera)</div>
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(Image: my own photo of a blue and green dragonfly and my own quote: "Be proud of who you are because you are great!")</div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-57461701707213595732017-10-02T06:00:00.000-04:002017-10-02T07:28:21.561-04:00Why we should NOT follow the Golden Rule!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "high tower text" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><i>* Note: this was posted in Fall 2016 but necessary to re-share today~</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "high tower text" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I have been reading and hearing from Trump supporters "What are you so afraid of? We already had racism, hate, rape...." Ummm Society is aware that the world was NOT safe but this point of view is very egocentric. People are afraid not because they fear these things but because the accepted Political Correct etiquette is now gone because Americans have a role model who is NOT Politically Correct. I have been hearing how refreshing to listen to Trump because he is real and honest with his thoughts and feelings and people are <span style="background-color: #f6d5d9;">too</span> sensitive about "offending" others so they are glad to get rid of this Political Correct etiquette. What people don't understand is that being PC is actually just being respectful. By saying "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas to people is respecting that the other person may not be Christian and you are accepting that they might not share your religion. Being PC means that you don't push your views on another person because the other person has a different experience than you do and you shouldn't assume we all experience life the same way. I am also hearing people say that they are bringing Christian values back like the Gold Rule. Well, that isn't the right answer either...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "high tower text" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "high tower text" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">We need to stop teaching our children the Golden Rule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yep, that’s right!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are teaching our children to do unto others as they themselves want done unto.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The concept sounds great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we want to be treated with respect we treat others with respects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if we actually follow this rule it means to treat others exactly how WE want to be treated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, if I like being touched and appreciate being hugged I should touch and hug others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if they don’t want to be touched and hugged?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then what? If you are the type of person that wants to be left alone when hurting and leave others alone when they are hurting you may lose friends. Some people may want you to do everything in your power to let them know you care and you are there. So treat others how THEY want to be treated. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "high tower text" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The Golden Rule is essentially a person being egocentric.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is actually a type of cognitive bias, false-consensus effect to be exact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a tendency to overestimate how much other people have the same values, opinions, beliefs, and preferences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, people can have a lot in common but we should NOT assume that we have everything in common.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "high tower text" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">If we are not teaching our children the Golden Rule, what should we be teaching them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to teach empathy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Empathy is being able to understand the perspectives of other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So instead of treating others how <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>WE</u></b> want to be treated, we need to treat others how <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>THEY</u></b> want to be treated!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is referred to as the Platinum Rule.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-19474201129440649972017-09-21T11:33:00.000-04:002017-09-21T11:33:11.298-04:005 ways to deal with a professional who bullies and intimidates <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Have you ever been in a meeting where someone behaved toward you in a bullying way with the intent to intimidate you? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This may happen if you are working on trying to enlighten others to see a different perspective, you are challenging their confirmation bias, and/or you know more than the other person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We all have biases and we need to understand our own biases while also understanding the biases of others. <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/06/we-all-have-bias-learn-to-stop-being-so.html">Click here's more about biases</a>! Sadly, many people are unaware of their biases and therefore make judgments and decisions that are skewed and/or inflexible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As a therapist and person with exceptionally high empathy, I tend to naturally spin the actions of others to look beyond their behaviors and emotions to the underlying reasons. I do not often allow the negative behaviors to turn my behaviors and feelings negative. This isn't always possible, especially after being personally attacked. Since I am often in meetings being the voice of my clients I am frequently in situations where professionals do not act professionally. Other professionals (teachers, counselors, school psychs, administrators...) can use bullying and intimidation tactics instead of appropriate more professional forms of communication. This may happen as a response to the professionals picking up the anxiety, sadness, fear, and frustration from the parent of my client. Parents of children with disabilities tend to have a lot of negative experiences as they work to getting their child appropriate services in an educational environment so they come into meetings bubbling with a lot of emotions. The unprofessional bullying behaviors from professionals are also, at times, a reaction to me enlightening them to things they don't want to see or know. Sometimes it's because they realize that I know much more they do and they are feeling insecure. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The problem with me being a therapist and person with exceptionally high empathy.... people think that they CAN intimidate and bully me! Yes, I put up with a lot of crap from people because I can see that the person doing the bullying and intimidating is really insecure, afraid, less educated, weak, or has at least one 'ism' (racism, ableism, sexism...). Because I don't bully or intimate back, the other person usually assumes they have won or "put me in my place." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't ever assume that tolerance and empathy are weaknesses! I am NOT weak! I am more powerful because I don't attack back I work to create a better understanding for all. I work to assure that everyone is felt validated. This takes much more patience and skill to behave with integrity than "putting someone in their place" by bullying or intimidating. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here are 5 ways you too can be the better person when attacked by a professional using bullying and intimidation tactics.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">1.) The first thing you need to do is BREATHE! You may or may not be shocked that a professional just used bullying intimidation tactics to attack you but either way, you will feel the punch in your gut so you must remember to breathe! So right after it happens- take a deep breath in, all the way down to the bottom of your lungs and let it out slowly. As you breathe in think similar words "I'm in control," "I'm better than this ASS," or "I will not be intimidated." As you let your breath out think calm and relaxing thoughts. You need to do this so you don't allow the ASS to win by pissing you off.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2.) After you take a breath in and out--put a smile on your face. Yes, this may seem passive aggressive but the bullying intimidator needs to know that you are not being "put in your place." This smile is there as evidence that YOU are the better person and gives the message that you cannot be attacked in this fashion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">3.) This smile will also help you remember that professionals who use bullying and intimidation as a communication strategy are NOT being professional. By keeping your cool, YOU are being the professional in the room! Professionals do not attack even when attacked. Professionals are mature adults that understand empathy and support.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">4.) Don't take anything the bullying intimidator says personally. Their amygdala is out in control and they are in a lower level processing part of their brain -- think immature monkey. They will do and say just about anything at this point & their goal is to squash you. If they see you are taking it personally they will continue to attack. When they see you are not bothered because you have a smile on your face they will be even more pissed off. Do nothing back to the bullying intimidator but show as much kindness as you can muster. It will make them even angrier and their true colors will be displayed in the meeting. FYI be careful because retaliation will occur so you must document everything. Parents of kids with disabilities & professionals who advocate for them are often the target of retaliation because we continue to fight battles the school districts often want us to give up on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">5.) Finally, reward yourself for not attacking back but standing your ground and letting the bullying intimidator know that you will not allow others to treat you this way. Know that you were being the better person by not stooping to their level. Don't let the behaviors of others stop you from fighting for yourself or your child. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Key take-away: Even when others act in an unprofessional manner continue to have integrity and behave in a manner that will make you feel pride. People who bully and intimidate are lying to themselves if they feel proud of their behaviors or justify them by blaming others. </span><br />
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<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" tabindex="0">(Image: photo of a brown dragonfly on a stem that also has a spiderweb attached both all covered with small drops of dew creating a dragonfly with stunning wings covered with small water beads and a cobweb enhanced by hundreds of tiny water drops and a quote from Karen Horney - “If you want to be proud of yourself, then do things in which you can take pride” )</span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-65582521869242961252017-09-06T06:00:00.000-04:002017-09-06T07:10:46.783-04:00Why Bill Gates is a Part of the Educational Problem<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There’s an article going around the internet posted by Huffington Post titled: <a href="http://www.educationviews.org/gates-fixing-education-toughest-challenge/">Gates Says Fixing Education Toughest Challenge</a>. In this article Gates is quoted as saying: </span><span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">"And the one thing we have a lot of in the United States is unmotivated students.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Wow, this is not reality. We do not have UNMOTIVATED students we have students who have not been educated appropriately and therefore they have developed Learned Helplessness. I wrote an article on <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-importance-of-changing-learned.html">The Importance of Changing Learned Helplessness in Students with Disabilities</a> and would love for Mr. & Mrs. Gates to understand the reality of why students are not being successful. I know of many very intelligent students who dropped out or failed out because of this Learned Helplessness experience. This article was very popular and I received a number of emails from people who wanted to tell me their story because this was exactly what they were/had experienced. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I later received emails and phone calls from parents who were frustrated because they took the Learned Helplessness article (or emailed it) to the school and the staff often disregarded the student developed learned helplessness and continued to blame it on being unmotivated and unwilling. This prompted me to write another article: <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/01/why-we-should-help-students-with.html">Why We Should Help Studentswith Learning Disabilities.</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We need to admit that we as a nation are doing it wrong when it comes to education. We are rewarding the wrong behaviors, setting kids up for consistent failures, and using an arbitrary grading system (Grades, ACT/SAT, and Standardized Tests). In a more recent article I address this topic: <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/05/students-dont-fail-educational-system.html">Students don’t Fail, the Education System is failing our Students! </a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span> <span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So, what can we do about this? We can admit that it is uncomfortable to face reality. To look at ourselves in the mirror and see the naked truth. Our education system is the problem. If Mr. & Mrs. Gates want to make the world a better place than they need to put money into education research. We need to educate our children and stop letting so many of them fall through the cracks as if these kids don’t matter. Mr. & Mrs. Gates could help financially support programs that are evidence based such as making sure all schools have systematic, explicit, and phonic based reading approaches/programs. If a student is not progressing at grade level then this student is to receive one-to-one tutoring until they are at or above grade level. We need to stop allowing teachers to just pass a student on or fail these students. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We need to stop with the standardized testing and focus on educating these children. A teacher can tell if a student is behind in the areas of reading, writing, and math. We don’t need a standardized test to prove these students are behind. Teachers should be allowed to identify these students so they can receive individualized support and the school district should pay for each student who is behind an individualized tutor until the student is at or above grade level. Failure should NOT be an option. We need to stop waiting until the standardized test scores come out to finally decide to help some of these students. We need to stop waiting until the student is so far behind that it is almost impossible for them to catch up. The school system is squishing the self-esteem of many children and causing students to develop learned helplessness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So here’s my final message to Mr. & Mrs. Gates. Stop being a part of the problem. Saying students are UNMOTIVATED is fueling the negative fire already in these children. They are not UNWILLING they are UNABLE! If I had the funds you have I would be making a difference in the way we educate our students, the way we motivate, and the way the culture & climates of the school are focused on competing against each other and not supporting each other for success. I’d spend money educating the educators on EMPATHY because <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2013/01/empathy-antidote-to-bullying.html">Empathy is the Antidote to bullying</a>! Honestly, education is not as challenging as Mr. & Mrs. Gates think, it will just take a while to see the positive changes once the discrimination stops.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Finally, if you want to know what discrimination does to a person watch: <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/01/dr-king-lessons-from-class-divided.html">Dr. King &Lessons from A Class Divided</a>. <o:p></o:p></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">People with dyslexia and other learning disabilities are often discriminated against in the educational system.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">There are rumors that Bill Gates himself is dyslexic but I do not believe that it true.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I believe if he was dyslexic then he would have empathy and stop blaming our children (here’s a great article by <a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-blame-game-are-school-problems-kids.html">Pam Wright: The Blame Game!</a></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-blame-game-are-school-problems-kids.html"> </a></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="http://thedragonflyforest.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-blame-game-are-school-problems-kids.html">Are SchoolProblems the Kids’ Fault?</a>).</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I do not believe that Mr. Gates knows what it is like to struggle or be discriminated against.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">If this opinion is not true, then Mr. Gates can enlighten me but in the meantime, I have no evidence to prove he understands what it is really like in the shoes of someone who struggles.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #222222; font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Here's a picture & quote from a child who experienced only a couple of days feeling bad about himself. Think about what our current education system is doing to children and then tell me that kids are UNMOTIVATED Mr. Gates! </span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-77129535013739860262017-07-28T06:00:00.000-04:002017-07-28T08:19:59.500-04:00What the 5 Monkey story can teach you about INSIGHT!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">What is </span><b style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Insight</i></b><span style="font-size: large;">? <i><b>Ins</b></i></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>ight </b></i>is "the capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or a thing." This can mean having <b><i>Insight</i></b> into yourself or others. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today as the first day, I want you to gain insight into thinking about behaviors. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's a psychology experiment that you must know about: </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The 5 Monkeys ~~</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">What this story teaches us is how we are sometimes a product of our environment and have no idea why we do what we do. With insight we can make conscious changes not only in ourselves but also in the world.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">Some of you may question if this was a true experiment and it wasn't but it is based on a true experiment (see below). If we have insight we can see this happening in our daily lives. I often hear in school meetings that something was done or going to be done because "it has always been done this way." Geez that's really scary now if you think about it, right? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">**Reference:</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">"Stephenson (1967) trained adult male and female
rhesus monkeys to avoid manipulating an object and then placed individual naïve
animals in a cage with a trained individual of the same age and sex and the
object in question. In one case, a trained male actually pulled his naïve
partner away from the previously punished manipulandum during their period of
interaction, whereas the other two trained males exhibited what were described
as "threat facial expressions while in a fear posture" when a naïve
animal approached the manipulandum. When placed alone in the cage with the
novel object, naïve males that had been paired with trained males showed
greatly reduced manipulation of the training object in comparison with
controls. Unfortunately, training and testing were not carried out using a
discrimination procedure so the nature of the transmitted information cannot be
determined, but the data are of considerable interest."</span></i><i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Sources: Stephenson, G. R. (1967). Cultural acquisition of a specific learned response among rhesus monkeys. In: Starek, D., Schneider, R., and Kuhn, H. J. (eds.), Progress in Primatology, Stuttgart: Fischer, pp. 279-288.</div>
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Mentioned in: Galef, B. G., Jr. (1976). Social Transmission of Acquired Behavior: A Discussion of Tradition and Social Learning in Vertebrates. In: Rosenblatt, J.S., Hinde, R.A., Shaw, E. and Beer, C. (eds.), Advances in the study of behavior, Vol. 6, New York: Academic Press, pp. 87-88.</div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-52917864414436817202017-07-14T06:00:00.000-04:002017-07-14T07:52:18.915-04:00Freaky Friday Fun<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Have a wild and naked Friday!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>(Image: cartoon of a group of cavemen the one wearing a 'loin cloth' is saying to the two who are naked - "Dang! I always forget about casual Friday.")</i></b></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-71567127183381429452017-07-09T06:00:00.000-04:002017-07-09T07:03:14.180-04:00Elie Wiesel - lessons learned and how to have a better world! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">Spiritual Sunday~~ I continue to be heartbroken at the loss of Elie Wiesel! In the 1980's I was in high school and learned about Mr. Wiesel and read his book "Night." Reading his book was not an easy task because I'm dyslexic. I struggle at pronouncing unknown words and I'm an exceptionally slow reader but Mr. Wiesel's book kept me inspired to keep reading and motivated me to do a lot of self-reflection. How can I live in a world that allows such injustice? How can I just stand by and let bad thing happen to others? I knew I couldn't! I knew that I had to help others! Although I was just a teenager I knew my purpose in life was to work on making the world a better place. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Elie Wiesel's life lessons became a part of the fabric of my soul and I re-read his work often, especially on audio. There is so much to learn about ourselves and the world around us. I guess this is why I struggle to understand why people have hate and negativity? I just don't get it! How can someone intentionally harm someone else - physically, mentally, socially, emotionally...? It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear someone justify their actions - tell me that the other person had it coming, that they had to right to defend themselves, that it's the person's own fault for being poor.... How can you not see from another person's perspective? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I work daily to live with integrity and yet see and experience so much hate and indifference. I don't understand how some people don't comprehend that what we focus on we expand. When we attempt to make the world a better place by fighting the "War on drugs" or the "War on guns" or "Anti-bullying" all we are doing is magnifying drugs, guns, bullying... We need to teach empathy, compassion, and HELP those addicted. War begets war and eventually there is so much war, hatred, violence that people become immune and indifferent. I learned from "Elie Wiesel <i>"Indifference to me, is the epitome of all evil." </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">People are so self-absorbed with material items, money, status, and number of "likes" and followers on social media that they have lost most of their humanity. I have sat in school meetings where the staff fights hard against providing an education to a child. Often they blame the child or parents for the fact that the child is not learning instead of taking responsibility and teaching the child appropriately. I could tell you some horrific stories about how those who are paid to educate our children attack them by blaming and shaming them. Educators are not paid to crush the self-esteem of children yet is accepted and condoned all the time. Sports coaches often do the same things. But why is all this allowed - why do people in power think they have the right to break the spirit of another person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As a counselor I am helping many people overcome the traumas from their childhood. It is heartbreaking to hear the stories about teachers, coaches, and even parents causing such damage to another human-being. <i> "Every single human-being is a unique human-being and therefore it is so criminal to do something to that human-being- he or she represents humanity."</i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So here's what you can do to make the world a better place... YOU CAN MAKE YOU BETTER. YOU CAN LIFE YOUR LIFE EVERY DAY WITH INTEGRITY! YOU CAN WORK HARD TO SEE ANOTHER PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE AND YOU CAN FOCUS ON HOW TO THINK AND FEEL DEEPER! </span><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QQlKx5qtrg">(Elie Wiesel- cnn video)</a></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-29511882589541609772017-07-05T06:00:00.000-04:002017-07-05T07:47:54.031-04:00Is Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes ADHD? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Today,
July 5, is the birthday of William “Bill” Boyd Watterson II, American
Artist and author of the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. Mr. Watterson will be 59 years old
today. The comic strip <i>Calvin and
Hobbes </i>ran from 1985 to 1995 and was in more than 2,400 newspapers worldwide. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Calvin, the 6 year old main focus of his comic strip was and is loved my many. There has also been intense discussions in
the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder community as to whether or not
Calvin has ADHD. Mr. Watterson never came right out and reported that Calvin was ADHD but I guess Mr. Watterson didn’t go into creating the comic strip with the intention on
having Calvin ADHD. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">No parent plans or wants their child to have
ADHD. Parents discover their child has
ADHD as the child grows and develops. I
think there is agreement in this ADHD community that Calvin fits the criteria
for ADHD: he has a difficult time staying focused, hyperactive, impulsive, creative, and enthusiastic! The thing is--- it doesn’t matter if Mr. Watterson intended this to be ADHD or
not. Just because a diagnosis can be
made does not take away from the great traits we love about Calvin and his
imaginary tiger friend, Hobbes. In fact,
we actually love Calvin <b>BECAUSE</b> of his ADHD traits. Calvin’s imagination, creativity, energy,
lack of attention, and view of the world are the gifts that Mr. Watterson gave
to this character. Our kids with ADHD don't need to be shamed for their ADHD traits - adults need to appreciate these ADHD traits just like we appreciate and enjoy Calvin. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So Happy Birthday, Mr. Watterson, thank you for giving us the
gift of<i> Calvin and Hobbes </i>(as well as your other wonderful cartoons). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Mr. Watterson is on my list of people I’d love to have lunch
with. Since he lives a
couple hours north of me I could venture to hunt him down but I will refrain out
of respect. After Mr. Watterson ended
his <i>Calvin and Hobbes</i> comic strip he became a “recluse.” He has worked hard to stay out of the public
eye, he declines interviews, appearances, and refuses to license his
characters. There is speculation that he
has anxiety and social phobia. It doesn’t
matter if that’s true or not I believe he is a true Dragonfly and just like all
Dragonflies they are best when viewed in their natural state instead of held
captive. </span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7577088808845081807.post-5453776169488139922017-07-03T07:00:00.000-04:002017-07-03T07:03:06.968-04:00You ARE under the control of others- Don't think so? Then check this out!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I was recently thinking about the Stanley Milgram experiment
and realized this is a good topic for people to understand. This is an experiment done in 1961 and
provided us evidence that people will follow the directions of an authority
figure even if they feel they should not be doing what they are asked to do- in
Milgram’s experiment 65% of participants continued to shock another person
because a person in authority told them to even though the participant could
hear the other person is in pain and asking to stop. Here’s a quick clip of that:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzwyLzCOv-d8ta_QvHavrZrItG24RMvBVELT93CIdn9wHysn5UJ-fkV4wGtb5A_zNOonVpJ0uqbLCAoVgex-Q' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">People often say that in current times with all the
sensitivity training, people will stand up to authority figures more and not do
something just because a person an authority tells them to do it; but that is
not the case. Here are a couple more
recent clips of this experiment:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwUG5HKIACMt738la0Bf40eg2gL1h_GXLgDh63SoUCRsl7YgkJGTwaO1MCP2Yn475I8UtmscS75tMAOPdlY8g' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Now watch this guy- <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwAWb0Dt7A2Wwh2bud4c6WN0hyx8DhG24WEXSuxj87mIiNYaq4cfdbJk9Xz3PA2Nz--gK0wk9gG_fpyToioSA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When I teach about this in college psychology classes I
always have students tell me that they would NOT follow a person in
authority. So I put them to the
test. I don’t have the Milgram machine but
I would do something else. Here’s what I
did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">About a week after the discussion of the Milgram
experiment (and Stanford Prison experiment) I told the class I want them to
know what it is like to be the teacher and each gets a turn up front of the
classroom. I asked for volunteers for the teacher role and had this person step
outside the room and wait on me to come out and tell him/her what he/she will
talk about. I told the rest of the class
their job was to ignore the “student-teacher,” I told them to make the
“student-teacher” annoyed and flustered.
If the “student-teacher” asked them a question they were to refuse to
answer or give an inappropriate answer.
I then went out to the “student-teacher” and told him/her to engage the
students – ask questions, make eye-contact, motive them, and get them
interacting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">What happened was exactly as expected. The more the students treated the
“student-teacher” poorly the more distraught the “student-teacher” became. Some students were uncomfortable but
continued anyway looking over at me to stop the exercise. Every student participated. I did not have one student not do what I
asked them to do. When I did stop the
exercise I asked the students what they learned from the lesson and was told –
“it’s hard being a teacher.” When I
pointed out that they just validated Milgram’s experiment – that people are
obedient to an authority figure even if they do not agree with the activity or
request. Students were shocked and
disappointed in themselves. I did point
out that each student may not have done what was told to them if they were
alone because another thing we learn in Social Psychology is people will more
easily engage in inappropriate behaviors if in a group. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">People comply with authority much more than you think – YOU
do it almost daily, especially if you work.
When you are in a work environment you are told what to do and how to do
it. You are given assignments and
comply. Sometimes you are told to do
something that may be wrong or unethical.
You may not even know it is wrong or unethical because you trust the
person/people in authority. What if you
know or suspect it is wrong? Do you say
something or refuse to do it? What if
you did say something or choose not to do the requested activity, would you
fear the loss of your job or retaliation?
These are some tough decisions and obviously must be weighed against
what the person/people in authority is/are asking you to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Now think about this, why do you think students who have
learning disabilities do not receive an appropriate education, denied services,
or denied an IEP/504? Do you think it is
one individual (teacher, administrator, school psychologist…) who wants to deny
this child an opportunity to learn? Most
likely it is not a person but a school district itself. Someone in authority has told staff that
there can only be a limited number of students in special education, on
IEP’s/504, and what services can and cannot be provided. When it comes down to it, schools are businesses
and sometimes people who are not on the front lines make decisions that are not
conducive to the education of students with learning disabilities. These people make policies and procedures and
teachers and administrators follow these even if they are actually violating a
student’s rights. Many times teachers
and administrators are just doing what they are told to do from the people in
the central office. When we really look
at it we can see that the ones who are really running the schools are the
people in the highest authority. As a parent of a child with a learning
disability how many times have you been told by a teacher that know your child
is struggling but they can’t say/do anything about it because of the people
above them. Many teachers have told
parents things only to deny saying these things in meetings because they don’t
want to get into trouble with their bosses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Stanley Milgram said it best with this quote:<i> “Ordinary people, simply doing their jobs,
and without any particular hostility on their part, can become agents in a
terrible destructive process. Moreover, even when the destructive effects of
their work become patently clear, and they are asked to carry out actions
incompatible with fundamental standards of morality, relatively few people have
the resources needed to resist authority.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We need to teach our children that they are to be
HEROES! As a society we need to support
people who are “whistleblowers” instead of condoning companies and even school
districts to lead with a culture of “don’t question, just do – because those
that question will lose their jobs.” People
should not be punished or condemned because they followed the directions of an
authority figure especially if they have power and control of their paycheck
until we live in a society that values independence and respects people who
question the actions of authority figures.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We must also teach our children know they have a voice
and to ask those in authority “why” they are being asked to do something. We need to help empower children say “no” if
they do not feel something is right. We
need to make these changes so our world can be better! Watch the next video and see what it would be like if people felt empowered to stand up to authority! </span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dy8jDEx8MntywTsuXLYpYrJI7ZZDT3LRzgnOgpV1Gy66gyoOgYm6YiKChX_I-UDWo1mc2b-jFGAE9wQRFulKg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Finally, here’s one of my heroes, Phil Zimbardo
discussing The Psychology of Evil in a 20 minute TED talk. Watch this, learn from it, and put into
practice the suggestions he has near the end of his talk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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JM Lamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07166137148021119796noreply@blogger.com0