How to Think Outside of the Box

Let me share with you one of the coaching sessions I have with clients.  This works for anyone!  The goal of this session is to learn about who you are and who you want to become.

First –watch this video (don’t worry it is under 18 minutes)

Michael Bahr, Education Director for the Utah Shakespeare Festival

 Direct Link for: Thinking outside of a box requires a box

*if there is not a video in the space above please click here to access the link

Second - Now let’s review a few things:

In order to be “outside of a box” you need to know the box.  You are a box – your disability is a box– your life is a box.  For each box you need to comply with the following rules.

Rules:

1.   Know your box
2.   Embrace your box
3.   Push outside of the box
4.   Build your own box - & live by the rules of the box
5.   REPEAT

Third – Start with one aspect of your life - here we will focus on your disability. 

1 – Know yourself:  Learn about your likes and dislikes.  Define your values.  Discover your passions and interests.    

2 – Embrace the yourself:  Appreciate everything about you. Know you are not perfect so embrace your imperfections! Accept this is your life, interests, talents...

3 – Push outside of yourself:  Don’t get comfortable inside this box of YOU - now you must challenge yourself to be outside of the box.  Go beyond what you think you can do and expand who you are.   

4 – Now build this new box:  Define what this new life looks like and live this life.  

5 - REPEAT:  You must keep doing this or you will get stuck in a box again.  Don’t ever stay in a box & never let anyone keep you in a box.  (“Nobody puts Baby in a corner!”  Quote from Dirty Dancing.  *Sorry, my movie quote obsession oozing out of me).

Finally, you can do this with all aspects of your life so go out there and get “outside the box!”  

Stop the shaming: why ceremonies and graduations need to change

It is that time of year again & I am sharing this post because it is vital for these ceremonies to change!  I know some are worse than others.  It was originally written & published years ago after sitting for over 3 hours at my son's 8th-grade graduation where only a very select group of students were praised. Sadly, it still holds true today.  Thanks so much for taking time to read this - if there are any grammar errors please forgive them (editing is not my strength).

The end of the school year brings with it many award ceremonies and graduations.  As an inclusionist, I am not fond of these event!!  Many (although not all) of these events are designed to exclude and shame students into what our society considers acceptable behaviors and standards of success.  True, students who achieve should be rewarded and acknowledged; heck, almost all students want to be acknowledged.  I think all students who attend the ceremony should receive an award.  This does NOT mean I believe we should give all students an award, what it means is that only those students who are receiving awards should be required to attend the ceremony.    Students who are subjected to sit through a 1-3 hour long awards ceremony or graduation and not receive one accolade are not being motivated to become a better student or athlete. 

Often a reason given as to why students should be acknowledged for their hard work and effort in front of their nonperforming peers is because this motivates students to work harder.   Really?  Students getting good grades, high test scores, or achieving athletic success are not necessarily the ones putting forth the most effort.   We are doing our students a disservice by only shining a light on achievements and failing to embrace diversity. 

Schools often report they are sensitive to diversity yet they only mean race, gender, and ethnicity.  What about the diversity of learning?   Some students will work exceptionally hard and only earn C’s while for other students learning is easy, therefore they earn A’s.  Yes, the “C” student could have all A’s too but it is up to the teachers to educate this student appropriately (this is their educational right – to receive a free and appropriate education).  I heard a teacher recently state in her speech about the academic award recipient; “she is so easy to teach... students like her are the reason why people get into teaching.”   My heart sank, of course, this student is easy to teach. This student doesn’t have a learning disability causing struggles with reading, math, or writing.   The message was loud and clear, teachers don’t get into teaching to have challenging students they get into it so they can reap the rewards of a student who excels easily.  Okay, to be fair, that may not have been the speakers intended message but it sure could be interpreted that way.

Sports are another example of how school exclude and shame students.  A few weeks ago I wrote details about this topic in my "Lessons from The Breakfast Club"  post.  Not all students have the ability or talent to play sports although some may have the desire.  When schools put talented athletes on a pedestal and worship these students they are sending a message to other students that in order to be successful you must be athletically talented.  If you don’t believe this then look at our society as a whole; how much does a professional athlete get paid compared to a teacher. 

Sometimes schools try to pretend that they are including all students by having “student of the year” or “star student” awards.  This is not true inclusion.  You are kidding yourself if you think that each and every student had an equal chance to earn one of these awards.  Did the staff really consider the student with severe ADHD who has difficulty with impulse control?  How about the student who has Asperger’s and is struggling with learning social skills or is awkward?  I bet the student who was bullied so severely he became depressed and withdrawn wasn’t given a second thought.  Students who are challenging or have challenges are not often picked for these awards.   So, face it, this is not true inclusion; it is a facade.  Also, be careful of another facade - when the obviously disabled student gets an award just so the school can say ...  "look at us, aren't we amazing, we just honored a student who has a major disability..."  Umm this isn't genuine & only done for the thrill of inspiration porn.  This is NOT okay either. 

So, here is my proposal to all school districts across the country.  Over the summer decide what you consider the values we should be instilling in our children.   Take a good hard look at the way you are rewarding students.  Do you make the students with good grades stand-up in front of their non-achieving peers and tell these peers that they too can have these honors and rewards if they only tried hard enough?  Do you have ceremonies where everyone is invited but only a few get rewarded?  Do you give out student of the year awards, if so - really look to see if all students have equal opportunity for these awards?  Learn about confirmation bias (you like someone so you see most things they do in a positive light – you dislike someone so you see most things they do in a negative light).  Once you fully understand confirmation bias go back over and answer the last question: Do all students have an equal chance of winning “student of the year” or “star student?”  Now, relearn confirmation bias again and repeat the last question one final time.  If you still believe that all students have an equal chance than you don’t understand confirmation bias.    

Am I saying that there should be no more award ceremonies and graduations?  No, I am not saying this at all.  Go ahead and have these events but only require the students receiving awards to attend and if anyone else wants to attend they can make that choice but do not force students to attend hour long ceremonies/graduations where EVERYONE ELSE gets rewarded and praised.  Graduation ceremonies can be wonderful celebrations when focused on all students.  Call each student up and reward them with their certificate (don't just call their name as they walk in & go to a seat with their "graduation award" is sitting on the chair), if they received other awards announce them at that time – this way each and every student gets the opportunity to walk across the stage (front of a room) and be recognized.  Remember that almost everyone wants to be acknowledged and accepted.  Schools should focus on inclusion and quit reinforcing a “haves versus have-nots” climate.  Now is the time for change and acceptance.  Just because the ceremonies and graduations have always been done a specific way does NOT mean they must continue that way.  Remember we were once a nation where: slavery existed, women were not allowed to vote, and racial segregation was acceptable.  We now know better so we should do better.   We need to embrace the diversity that each and every student has and acknowledge their strengths instead of measuring them as successful under one specific set of standards.      

(Here's another post about shaming- Stop the Shaming Pt. 2) 

The experience of being a parent of a child with a hidden disability

Being a parent isn’t easy.  Children do not come with instruction manuals or diagrams of how their brains are designed. Therefore, much of what we do as parents is trial and error. When your child has a hidden disability it is even more challenging.  Our parent instincts tell us that something is wrong, yet these concerns are often minimized by teachers.  This makes us question our own intuitions since the teachers should know more; it is their area of expertise, is it not?  Eventually, many parents will seek outside help in trying to figure out what is wrong with their child. As a parent it may take us years or just months to finally get some validation that our instincts were correct and our child has a disability that IS impeding his/her learning.  By that time the child is even further behind but it is such a relief to finally have an official diagnosis. 

Armed with the diagnosis and a renewed sense that our parenting skills are back on track we go to the school assuming the staff will embrace this diagnosis as we have.  Unfortunately, this may not be the case.  The staff at the school is not relieved to have this official diagnosis because it only validates that they have dropped the ball, they were wrong, and they have failed to teach this child appropriately.  So parents must experience another blow to their parenting self-concept, when the school become resistant or even hostile because parents begin educating themselves and advocating for their child.   Sometimes it seems that the school district has an unwritten policy to frustrate parents so much that they eventually give up and go away (many parents actually get physically sick during this process).

To make things even more challenging for parents, we experience many feelings of guilt.  We feel guilty that: we didn’t follow our guts earlier, we didn’t insist the school do something sooner, we didn’t get our child privately evaluated as soon as we suspected something was wrong, we believed the teachers that Response to Intervention must happen before the child is evaluated at the school, and we believed things would improve over time.  All of this guilt can be overwhelming especially when we continue to watch our children failing to learn and losing their self-esteem along the way.  No parent wants to watch their child fail and our children fail on a daily basis!

Because the disability is hidden teachers, coaches, and even peers often mislabel our kids as lazy, bad, problem child, stupid, retarded, or oppositional.  These are not accurate labels and are crushing to our child’s self-esteem (as well as ours as parents).  Our kids are often not the ones picked by teachers and coaches as “superstars.”  Our kids are the ones working the hardest but gets the least amount of recognition so it is no wonder that many of them have a negative view of school or just end up giving up all together.  It is not easy for our children to watch other children learn more easily, achieve academic success with little effort, and be recognized athletically or socially as a “great kid/player/student.”  Sadly, we live in a society that values “Superstars.”  Our children actually are “SUPERSTARS” because they work so much harder than their peers who are getting all the play time, recognition, and awards.  As a parent we can see the hidden disability and know that our children are better than their non-disabled peers we just wish the rest of the world could see this greatness! 

So based on my own personal experience of having three children with hidden disabilities here is my message to other parents and to teachers/coaches:

PARENTS:

It is so easy to become overwhelmed by the challenges your child experiences and the unrealistic perception of success that you fail to recognize your own child’s growth and learning.  When children grow and learn they are making progress.  The goal is not to solve all the problems but to progress toward being a better person.  Progress means to move forward toward improvement.  So, focus on going in the right direction, raising children that are empathetic caring human beings.  Know that you are doing a good job getting your child’s needs met because you are advocating for them.  You are being their voice when they have none. Effective parenting requires you focus on any progress they make no matter how small.  Refuse to be disappointed if your child does not receive the honors and accolades like his/her peers.  Applaud the progress your child is making so he/she know that you see how much effort is going into the learning (sports, social, or academic).    

TEACHERS/COACHES:       

We are very aware that our child is different so we do not need for you to tell us how our child does not fit in with his/her peers.  This difference is because of a hidden disability and not because our child is lazy, stupid, or whatever judgment you are having about our children.  Our child wants to be successful and is trying much more than his/her peers so please respect that and see the progress that is being made, no matter how small.  Please speak to our children in a positive tone and with words of praise and encouragement.  Our children may not be able to read social cues well yet they are very aware when they are being treated poorly.  Finally, please print out the picture quote below and post it where you can see it on a daily basis! 

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday - empowerment

"I was once told that I wouldn't be successful in my life by a teacher who was trying to motivate me to work harder.  I was working as hard as I could.  I am a success now but it was not because this teacher tried to make me feel bad about not being able to read but because I had great parents who told me that I didn't have to believe the opinions teachers have about me.  My parents helped me learn that the opinions of others are just that, opinions and the thing that matters is my opinion of myself."

*quote from a graduate student with dyslexia.

Passions lead to Purpose motivation by T.D. Jakes

What are your passions?  Take some time today to think about what makes you light up~ what inspires you.  Things that make your heart pump faster or motivates you are your passions.  When you focus on your passions you will be happier and this will lead you directly to your purpose in life.  Don't look for purpose because you may not find it, instead find your passions and your purpose will follow.

Here's a great quote to print out and post on your mirror by Bishop T.D. Jakes.

Dr. King's legacy regarding discrimination in education

I have re-posted this from 8/13/2013 in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. - a day to celebrate him (Jan 19, 2015)  
Parents often tell me that they just want their child to be given the same opportunities as all other children.  So the post today-- Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday will take a slightly different turn in honor of the 50 anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a Dream” speech. 

Dr. King gave a powerful and significant speech regarding the importance of race equality.  He stated, “When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.   This note was a promise that all men, yes black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned.” 

Racial equality has come a long way since these words were spoken 50 years ago.  Thanks to Dr. King I reaped the benefits of growing up in a very diverse community.  I am a proud alumni of the Columbus City schools in Columbus, Ohio where I formed bonds we friends of all different races, ethnic backgrounds, and religions.  Even attending college at Otterbein University in Westerville, Ohio I was fortunate to have racially diverse roommates.  I was also blessed with accepting parents who embraced all of my friends (and boyfriends) equally with no judgments regarding race, religious beliefs, or backgrounds.   I learned to see the beauty in a person for who they are, not for the color of their skin.  This is a code I live by and how I am raising my three wonderful multi-racial children (my husband is Asian).   I have been privileged to live this rich diverse life because Dr. King brought to the attention of the world how equality is not based on the color of a person’s skin.   

Because I live this diverse life, I am well aware that we still have a long way to go in regards to race relations.  My experiences in my life have allowed me the ability to see the world through a variety of different perspectives so I can see discrimination still exists.   I could continue, regarding ways I see racial discrimination today in 2013 but I’d like to bring to your focus another type of discrimination that is just as important.

This is disability discrimination, especially in our school systems.   Our educational systems are failing our students at an alarming rate.  Students are NOT receiving Free and Appropriate Educations (FAPE) based on how they learn.  According to the U.S. Department of Education, National Institute of Literacy 19% of high school graduates can’t read.  Ummm these are the students who actually graduated think about the 20-38% who do NOT graduate (2013 national graduation rates of 80% of white to 62% of blacks).  Why are we failing to teach these kids how to read? 

The No Child Left Behind (NCLB) Act of 2001 attempted to improve reading through the Reading First provisions, to close the test scores between ethnic minorities and mainstream “white” students.  If you want evidence that this didn’t work just look at the statistics again in the last paragraph!  One reason students in the United States are not learning to read is because many students are still being taught via a “whole language” approach to reading.   Unfortunately, students with language based learning disabilities such as, dyslexia will not learn via a whole language approach.  Since one-in-five is a person with dyslexia, many students are not being taught appropriately.  The National Reading Panel (2000), recommends explicit, systematic, phonics, evidence-based reading programs for all students and these programs ARE conducive to students with dyslexia.  Some whole language supports have put the failure to read blame on; the challenges ethnic minorities face (race), students in low economic areas, and lack of motivation to learn.   So what is actually happening here is discrimination.   Often parents have to work very hard to advocate for their child to receive reading programs that are recommended by the National Reading Panel and are evidence based.  At times, school districts have flat out refused to provide these students with an appropriate education – that is discrimination.   Instead of blaming race and poverty on failure to read school districts (and the general population) needs to have a better understanding of dyslexia.  The Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity Center created the Multicultural Dyslexia Awareness Initiative (MDAI) for just this reason – go here to check it out:Multicultural Dyslexia Awareness Initiative Yale

Furthermore, students who do not fit in with the “mainstream” environment are often discriminated against.  If a student needs extra support because they are on the autism spectrum a school district may exclude these students from some of the educational opportunities and activities offered to their non-disabled peers.  If a student is physically disabled, blind, or deaf, they too may be excluded from these events.  Instead of working to assure these students are included and made to feel valued some school districts have allowed these students to be left in the classroom during assemblies or they are not permitted to attend field trips.  This is discrimination.  Oh, the school district may try to say they are doing this for the child’s sake (safety, embarrassment, or even emotional distress…) but this is not in the best interest of the student.  Students need to feel they belong and are accepted.  Including the student and making appropriate accommodations teaches empathy to the other students as well.  It teaches the other students that we should include others and not judge them based on a learning difference or disability. 

Some students need extra support during the day by attending resource rooms, intervention centers, or individual tutoring.  It is discrimination when these students are excluded from the curriculum offered to all the mainstream students.  School districts will tell parents that their child cannot take a specific elective because the child’s schedule will not allow it to fit since the child has to receive academic support.  Parents often accept this excuse but it is really just discrimination.  The child is being excluded because they have a disability that requires extra learning support.  Some parents have been willing to bring their child in early or even stay after school so the child can receive the extra support they need and yet still attend the same elective classes like their peers, but most of the school districts refuse this option.  Teachers have a set schedule and many refuse to work longer hours (plus school districts don’t want to pay a person to provide this support before or after school either).  Now, do not think that I am anti-teacher because I am not.  I do understand their job stressors and know that it is very difficult to teach a large number of students on a daily basis.  I blame the system not the individual teacher! 

I am anti-discrimination!

So instead of pointing out other ways students, who are disabled or learn differently are discriminated against in school districts I’ll end on my own version of “I have a dream.”   

I have a dream that one day all students will be educated appropriately based on their own needs.

I have a dream that every child will be included and accepted by their peers. 

I have a dream that one day that all school districts will openly embrace parents who are advocating for their child instead of oppressing them.

I have a dream that students will be taught phonics so they will be able to know how to decode any word and not have to rely on sight memory alone.

I have a dream that that one day school districts will not blame race or income as the reason a student is not achieving and focus on ways to just help those students achieve.

I have a dream that my children and grandchildren will one day live in a nation where they are not judged by their grades or test scores but by their compassion and empathy. 

Why we should help students with learning disabilities

** This is being re-shared from a previous blog post because the school year is just starting and I honestly feel that some teachers do NOT understand that some students will NOT ask for help.  Please, oh please care about making sure these students are learning and supported.  FYI they are NOT lazy!!!!

Did you know that drowning victims rarely flail around or call out for help?  In fact, the person drowning is often unable to call out for help and just slips underneath the water and dies.  If you saw a boy silently slipping under the water would you just stand there watch him die and then say, “Well, all he had to do was ask for help,” or “geez if he would have just swam he could have survived.”  Of course no one would actually do that would they?  No one would really just stand by, offer advice but no real assistance or help and then blame the victim when he doesn’t survive. 

This actually happens all the time in school settings.  The student feels overwhelmed and completely “under water” with the assignments and tests and just gives up.  Teachers stand by watching the student not complete these assignments and fail the tests, yet blame the student for not working harder and not asking for help.  Some of these students even do ask for help but the support isn’t enough or consists of words not actions, so the student only slips further and further below the service.  Once the student is so far below, he drowns.  Even if resurrected he will never be the same again, he is now damaged. 

When students fail in school because they are not completing the homework, studying, and failing tests~ this is a cry for help.  This is not the student just being lazy and unmotivated this is the student drowning.  

Teachers can save these students from drowning by:

~noticing that they are avoiding assignments - these are difficult for them

~ provide positive support and encouragement

~ present information via explicit instruction - it is systematic, direct, & engaging

~ comply with the students IEP's or 504s 

~ Be consistent don't just offer help once and then stop offering help-- consistently provide assistance until the student is no longer failing and fully understands the materials.  

~ A student who is giving up and drowning no longer has effort and energy to keep his head above water so provide as much assistance as necessary until the student has the ability to do it on his own.

~ Provide the student's parents with up-to-date progress so they are aware of these difficulties and can provide support from the home side as well.  Since the student is drowning in school and not at home parents may not even be aware of the problem until it is too late.

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday - a grandparent perspective

"My kids are all grown now and I'm thrilled they are no longer in school.  Now my kids are happy and healthy but they were not like that while they attended school.  While in school they were often sick and had a lot of anxiety and depression.  I know it was because the teachers never seem to care about educating them.  It always seemed like the teachers cared more about the children who could learn easily and ignored my kids.  We have a lot of bad memories from school and what makes me the most sad is how teachers still no not want to admit the negative effects of being an LD student.  I hear my coworkers tell me about their experiences with school districts and feel sick to my stomach that these problems still exist.  I would have thought that things would have changed but they haven't. Now, I am scared because my oldest grandchild is going to be starting school next year.  My heart is breaking already just knowing of the battles he will have to face."

**This was a quote from a grandmother who called me asking which school district should she encourage her children to move to so her grandchildren can have a great education and graduate with a good self-esteem.   

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday!

"I may have a learning disability but I'm very smart in many ways.  If you take some time to get to know me you will see how smart I really am."

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday

~ “I always knew that my son was like me but I never knew it was because I'm also ADHD and have dyslexia, I never knew.  Everything makes sense now!"  

From a parent of a student with  ADHD and dyslexia

Spiritual Sunday with Maya Angelou

Most of us have experienced oppression in our daily lives. How we choose to deal with this oppression is vital.  Do not cave in and accept that you are less than.  Rise up and know that you are of value, you have worth, and you matter in this world!  

Maya Angelou wrote a great evocative poem that is so powerful!!

Do not settle for being oppressed and do not oppress others. Remember that we need to demonstrate empathy and stop judging others! 

Here's the beautiful Maya sharing her poem "Still I Rise."

"Still I Rise" should be our daily mantra!  

  

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday - a day late

If you were looking yesterday for some words from Parents or Dragonflies yesterday you discovered nothing was posted.  It was Christmas yesterday and I took the day off meaning I decided to do nothing work related and only focused on my family.  Today I will share with you my own version of "I have a Dream" so we can start focusing on the future we would like for our children!  

I have a dream that one day all students will be educated appropriately based on their own needs.

I have a dream that every child will be included and accepted by their peers. 

I have a dream that one day all school districts will openly embrace parents who are advocating for their child instead of oppressing them.

I have a dream that students will be taught phonics so they will be able to know how to decode any word and not have to rely on sight memory alone.

I have a dream that that one day school districts will not blame race or income as the reason a student is not achieving and focus on ways to just help those students achieve.

I have a dream that my children and grandchildren will one day live in a nation where they are not judged by their grades or test scores but by their compassion and empathy.   

~ Jill M. Lam

 Hope you had a wonderful holiday time with your family and are starting to think about what you want the next year to look like!  Thanks for visiting my blog!

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday

"I don't make eye contact but that doesn't mean I don't want to be friends. I just wish other kids knew that it's okay to be different."

Someone you should know: Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger overcoming dyslexia and other challenges!

Someone you should know- Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger.  His inspirational movie came out 20 years ago in 1993!  This movie is on my list of movies that EVERYONE needs to watch, especially if you or your child is a Dragonfly!  Rudy is dyslexic yet has he has tenacity (I also think he has ADD but not sure if he was ever diagnosed).  

Here’s a great 12-minute video of Rudy being interviewed and speaking about his dyslexia! 

Rudy Ruettiger the Real story!

He not only had to endure and survive struggles academically and physically he continued to face adversities over the years.   At one point fellow Notre Dame quarterback, Joe Montana made negative comments about the movie and Rudy’s experiences even saying that when Rudy was carried off the field on the shoulders of the football team it was a joke and not out of respect.  Rudy’s way of addressing comments like these is to just accept that everyone has their own perception and opinions.  Another fellow teammate, Jay Achterhoff stated “Rudy was carried off the field that day… but not as a joke but because he finally got to play.  You’ve never in your life seen a guy who wanted to be on the field more.” 

More recently, Rudy made some poor judgments trusting co-workers and getting himself involved in a “stock scam.”  Again, with the same tenacity he had working to get into Notre Dame academically and athletically, Rudy was able to keep focused on the positive and not dwell on negative pass experiences.  He refers to these past experiences as “lessons learned.” 

The goal here is to see the positive lessons that Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger has to offer.  Take from his stories (real and fictional) as a guide for you to have a better life and more success.  Remember to remain diligent and always go after your dreams! 

Rudy still gives motivational speeches to people of all ages!  So if you are wanting to learn more about Rudy check out his website: Rudy International Website.  

REMEMBER NEVER GIVE UP!  Let Rudy's story be an inspiration to you!

Quotes from Parents and Dragonflies

This quote was one that sticks out in my mind often when I am at meetings because it really breaks my heart.  I wish teachers really understood what they are doing to these kids.

"School is so hard for me but all my teachers think it should be easy so they just think I'm lazy.  It makes me hate myself even more because if school is easy I'm just stupid cause it isn't easy for me.  Most days when I wake up on school mornings I have suicidal thoughts because I'd rather be dead than go to school."  

                                                  ~ A 5th grader with dyslexia and ADHD
 

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday - disability

"My disability does not define who I am."  14 year old Dragonfly with ADHD

"The teacher asked why I was trying to hard to get my kid labeled.  I told her that I was not trying to get him a label I was trying to make sure that he received an appropriate education.  The school is the one trying to label him as lazy and stupid, not me.  Knowing exactly how his brain works by having a diagnosis will open up the world of knowledge to him not limit him. When the school refused my request for the evaluation that was limiting him."  Parent of a Dragonfly with dyslexia and asperger's

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday

"I can do everything you can do I just do it in a different way.  Different isn't bad, just different."

This quote is from a 10 year old and I think it says it all today!

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday

*With school starting in a few weeks for most school districts a parent emailed me this quote to add today.  This is what the parent would like the school to understand:

"Teacher: You may have gone to college and earned your degrees in education but I earned my knowledge from personal experience and a lot of research.  Please do not act superior when I share my knowledge of my child's disability with you.  Do not assume that because you have a college degree that you are smarter or know more than I know, especially about my child's disability.  I can assure you that I know more.  Unless you have a child exactly like mine, you do not fully understand my experience.  Finally, don't take offense when I share with you information about my child's disability I am doing this so we can work together as a team (since I am a team member regarding my child's education)."

Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday

This is from a parent of a child who was just diagnosed:

"Sometimes I feel guilty about not having caught my son's problem sooner.  I feel bad that he had to struggle so long just because I didn't know about his disability.  I know that I did the best I could but I still feel guilty. I also feel angry that the school had to know because he was so far behind but they didn't do anything to help him.  I worry about what his future will look like."

This was from a parent whose child just graduated:

"I am thrilled to see my daughter graduate because it has been such a long and difficult journey but this journey made her a better and stronger person."  I am so proud that she is the woman she is today because of her disabilities.  She now has the confidence to go to college and although it will be challenging I know that she has the strength and drive to reach her goal."

Independence for all

Today is the celebration of Independence in America.  Take a moment today to think about what this word means:

~ not to be controlled by others~ self-governing~ not requiring or relying on something or someone else~showing a desire for freedom

Do you have independence?  Are you helping teach your child independence or are you keeping them dependent.  Sometimes we forget that one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our children is to practice living independently.  

Happy 4th of July!