Someone you should know: Caiseal Mor, Autistic Artist

People often do not understand Autism and Asperger's.  There is this crazy belief that people on "The Spectrum" do not have creativity or imagination.  This is WRONG!  This is the problem: People are assuming that the desire for structure, consistency, and routines means a person lacks creativity and imagination.  These are very different and should NOT be confused.  People on "The Spectrum" are able to be very creative and imaginative.  One of the symptoms of autism is to look for a lack of pretend or imaginative play; but who are we to judge what is pretend or imaginary if we don't know what is going on in the child's head?  

It is no wonder why there are so many children out there misdiagnosed.  To make matters worse there is a negative perception of the Autism and Asperger's labels. This is why it is vital to make sure the person diagnosing you or your child has the knowledge and expertise in all types of disabilities (you know the saying "to a hammer everything looks like a nail").  Make sure they are experts in all these disabilities - that is the KEY!   

Here's someone you should know:  Caiseal Mor!  Check out the creativity from a person diagnosed with Autism.  Isn't he great! Isn't it great to openly accept people for the gifts they give the world instead of perceiving that something is wrong with them because they are not like the "average" population?

Pilgrimage - Music and video by Caiseal Mor

He also has a interesting website you must check out: http://www.mahjee.com/mahjeedrums.html

Motivational Monday seek your own adventure

As the weather gets colder and the winter is approaching it is easy to lose yourself and your goals.  Instead of being motivated to keep after your goals you may decide it is better to curl up with a good movie or book.  Now is the time to focus again on what you would like your life to look like - where do you want to go in your life, what do you want to do?  So on a cold brisk day, take some time out to write down a list of at least 3 goals you want to accomplish before the end of 2015.  Come on, get off the couch and get this done then you can go back to that movie or book.  

Tomorrow once you have had a full night to think about your 3 goals focus on one and go for it right now - head out on your adventure to achieve this goal (either figuratively or literally). 

Cartoon Saturday - Thanksgiving too short!

I struggle trying to understand how we, as Americans can spend one Thursday being grateful and giving thanks then spend the next four days on materialism.  

I wish we had a simpler life where we spend days appreciating people in our lives and the things we already have.  Instead we are pushed into consumerism!  

3 ways to celebrate your goals!

While on your hero's journey you will have some adventures where you will work harder and face more challenges. You will set out on a quest that is almost impossible. You will put in a lot of effort and energy.  You will give it your all -- every ounce of your blood, sweat, and tears!  You will eventually reach your goal and achieve something you at times thought you'd never conquer. 

People in your life are aware that this was a hard adventure and you worked diligently to reach a goal.  Finally, you reached this goal and expect that these people would be as excited as you. You will expect them to want to celebrate to the same degree that you want to celebrate. 

The thing is, not everyone will be excited for you.  Some of these people will be jealous and that you reached a goal that was hard because they know they will never reach that goal.  Some of these people will be so caught up in their own lives that they will not even be aware of how hard this goal was and how important it is to celebrate; so they will do nothing but say "hey congratulations."   

Hopefully, chances are you will have a few people in your life that will actually be as excited as you are about achieving this goal and be willing to throw you a party, announce it to the world for you, buy you a small token/gift to honor the event, or take you to a special lunch/dinner. 

There's also a chance that you will not have anyone in your life that will step up and celebrate this goal you worked so hard to achieve. You must always remember that Fairy Tales do not exist.  No one will come to slay the dragons or assure that there is a big feast to celebrate if you are the one that slays the dragon.  Therefore, YOU must be your own hero.  

So make sure that YOU give yourself the kudos you deserve. Don't wait for someone to celebrate your hard earned goal because this may only lead to disappointment and heartbreak.  Take control over your celebration as you took control over earning this achievement! 

Here are 3 things you can and should do to give yourself the affirmation you deserve!

1~ Send out your own announcements so you can let everyone know.  Some people may perceive that it is bragging if you share with them that you earned a degree, opened a business, started a new career, or won a battle with an illness/injury but don't let that stop you.  There is nothing wrong with sharing your accomplishments with the people in your life.  Don't post it on a social media post ~~ make it special by sending it via mail!  

2~ Reward yourself with something very special and meaningful.  Here are a few ideas: a piece of jewelry (special charm, ring, or pendent related to the event), a piece of art work, a plant (something hearty & will last long), a book, or you could even get something pierced or a tattoo.   It doesn't have to cost a lot of money it just has to be something tangible so you can keep it forever to remind yourself of the hard work you put into your goal and that you achieved this goal!  For example you could collect beads for each goal you reach and a very special bead for major achievements and keeps these on a string.  

3~ Take some quiet time alone to reflect on your hard work and achievement.  This can be sipping a glass of wine, beer, or even coffee.  You can do this alone at your favorite restaurant, outside at a park, or at your own kitchen table.  Reflect on how much effort you put into this goal and how you finally reached the end destination.  Say to yourself "I'm so proud of you~~ you did it!"  Take as long as you need to soak in all what you have done and then start thinking of your new goals.  Remember that what we focus on we expand and life is not about the end destination but about the journeys we have along the way.  So start making plans for your next hero's journey.     

Ways to deal with unwanted advice, judgment, and opinions from family and friends during the holiday season

 It is holiday time again, and I think it is important to discuss ways to stay positive when feeling judged by family and friends.  Sometimes others do not understand what it is like to be a Dragonfly or to raise a Dragonfly, which leads to unwanted advice, judgment, and opinions.    Comments can range from the covert "Where is his/her coat?" to the more overt "My child would NEVER do/act like that."  or "If they were MY child, they would behave." 

First, remember you have the power to choose how you will react. Do not let them control your behavior with their words.

Second, know that you will NOT change a person's opinions or beliefs unless they are open to changing these opinions and ideas.  

Third, try one of these tactics, depending on what is said:

• Explain instead of defending: "Oh, I thought you knew my son/daughter has [Asperger's, Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD, Dysgraphia...].  His/her behaviors/choices are related to the way the brain is developed.  There's actually a lot to learn about [diagnosis]; if you are ever interested, I'll share some of the research with you."

• Use sarcasm: "Oh, my child has [diagnosis].  What's your excuse for being rude?"  Or, "I'm so glad to know that your parenting skills are so great and your children turned out perfect.  God probably knew that you couldn't handle challenges, so He gave you calm and compliant children.  God knows I'm strong, and therefore He gave me these extra special children who needed a great parent." 

• Use humor:  "Yep, my son/daughter is working on his/her superpowers.  He/she has yet to master the ability to break windows with his/her scream."  

• Ignore the comment and change the subject:  "Oh, hey, I saw on Facebook that you just got a new job what are you doing now."  Or "That's a beautiful sweater where did you get it?  Don't tell me you made it yourself."  

Fourth, you need to know these opinions, judgment, and beliefs are often said out of ignorance, insecurity, or rudeness.  Sometimes people really think they are helpful, but most of the time, people just believe that their opinions of parenting are the "correct" way and yours are wrong.  Remember Confirmation bias (see previous posts for details on this)

The key is to NOT take these thoughts, judgments, and opinions personal.  YOU are doing the best you can do, and that is all that is needed.  You do not need to listen to the advice of others cause YOU are the expert - not them!  

Cartoon Saturday - Soccer Mom

 Being a soccer mom is sometimes a full time job so for all those other sports mom's out there - this is for you:

Understanding the brain- The McGurk Effect!

Freaky Fun Fact Friday!  We can't always believe what we see and hear.  Do you know about the McGurk Effect?  Watching this video to learn all about it - hmmm interesting right?  This is why it is difficult for some people to fully understand what people are saying and can cause miscommunication.  

Direct link to the McGurk Effect