Depression in school-aged children especially those with disabilities

 Please share to help save a life

A true story about depression – this could be you:

A student, "Thomas." has a learning disability and an IEP (the type of LD doesn’t matter as any will fit here for this story).  He knows that he doesn’t learn like the other students, is often excluded by his peers (bullied as well), and feels overwhelmed in the school environment.  Over time Thomas became depressed, he refused to attend school, and eventually, he contemplated suicide.  His parents have always been strong advocates for their son and contacted the school seeking help. The parents were surprised when instead of receiving support, they were attacked and blamed for his current situation.  The school principal became defensive and stated that the parents are at fault and they “need to work with them, not against them.”  The guidance counselor also condemned the parents stating as a counselor she is too busy to address all the needs of the students and she has done nothing wrong waiting for over a day to return the phone call.  The parents got help for their son outside of the school district but were not able to obtain appropriate support at the school which was the source of the problem. 
The Facts:

September is Suicide Awareness week, and October is Depression Awareness Month, so I want to address an issue that is often brushed aside and minimized.  It is depression.  Depression is one of the most common mental disorders, and according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 1 in 11 children will experience clinical depression before the age of 14.  Furthermore, the risk of depression increases as a child gets older and is the leading cause of disability among Americans ages 15-44 according to the World Health Organization (WHO).  Depression affects a person’s entire physical and mental well-being. 

Did you know that students with learning disabilities (LD) have statistically higher accounts of depressions than their peers without LD?  Having a disability makes attending school challenging.  Students with disabilities know that their lives are not under their control, they are painfully aware that they don’t fit in, have academic failures, and experience a number of social rejections. Unfortunately, depression is not addressed in schools (another forbidden “D” word).  Many if not all kids with learning disabilities experience Learned Helplessness and this does NOT mean the child is coddled by their parents! Read this article to educate yourself on Learned Helplessness!

One of the reasons depression is not discussed, is shame.  Parents already experience a variety of emotions regarding having a child with a disability.  To make matters worse, teachers, counselors, school psychologists, and administrators often blame parents for the child’s academic struggles and behaviors.  I am frequently in meetings where school staff members give parenting advice and have blatantly stated that the child wouldn’t have these difficulties if the parents would only…“read with the child, help with homework, stop doing the child’s homework, discipline consistently, stop cuddling the child, reduce their social/sports schedule, increase their social/sports schedule”, and the list is endless.  When parents already feel responsible for their child’s struggles these comments only make the situation worse, not better.  This “blame the parents” approach makes it more difficult for the parents to bring up concerns about depression and the school staff perceiving the symptoms of depression as a parenting problem.

The second reason depression is not discussed is that people don’t know the symptoms of depression in children and adolescents, especially ones with a disability.  The symptoms of depression are often common signs of other problems, and the severity of these symptoms is not taken seriously.    

The following are some symptoms of depression (these will be unique to each person):

• Irritability, anger, angry outbursts  
• Continuous feelings of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness – feeling melancholy or sad most of the day
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Over clinging to parents
• Feelings of anxiety, phobias
• Increased sensitivity to rejection or criticism
• Changes in appetite - either increased (weight gain) or decreased (weight loss)
• Changes in sleep (sleeplessness, too much sleep)
• Crying, temper tantrums, or sulking
• Difficulty concentrating
• Memory loss
• Fatigue (tiredness) low or decreased energy
• Physical Complaints or chronic pain (stomach aches, headaches) that do not respond to treatment (possible real physical problem or feigning illness)
• Digestive Disorders
• Reduced ability to function during activities at home or with friend, in school, extracurricular activities, and in hobbies or interests
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Getting into trouble, increased behavior problems
• Inability to experience pleasure or excitement even when doing activities that were pleasurable
• Mania or putting on a good front by being over happy
• Experimentation with drugs or alcohol
• Thoughts or talk of death or suicide

To get a direct perspective of what depression it is like for a popular non-learning disabled student watch this video of Kevin Breel (Confessions of a Depressed Comic):  Watch one of the two - sometimes phones do not allow a video to play so you have two options to choose from, but they are the same video!

Embedded video 

Kevin Breel (Confessions of a Depressed Comic)

What can be done:

Depression can be treated and children experiencing depression MUST be treated because if they do not get help, it will only get worse.  According to the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI), once a child experiences depression, the child is at risk of developing another depression within five years.  Eventually, the child may contemplate or attempt suicide.  Did you know that according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, suicide is the third leading cause of death for 5-15 year-olds?    

If we continue to minimize depression, we risk losing children to suicide.  Is this a risk we want to take?  NO!

So, make sure you, as a parent know what to look for regarding depression.  Ask the school staff members to also be educated on depression and look for signs and symptoms in all children.  The earlier this is caught, the easier it is to treat. 

(Image: black and white photo of a student sitting at a computer desk with books and a computer on the top of the desk and the student is sitting with his/her head down being held up by his/her hands with elbows resting on the desk.  Quote from Stephanie Sergent Daniel's article 'Reading Disabilities Put Students at Risk for Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviours and Dropping out of School' - "In our study, poor readers were three times more likely than typical readers to consider or attempt suicide and six times more likely to drop out of school.  Educators and parents should be aware of the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors among adolescents with reading problems.")

(Image: a figure sitting with their hands clasped and their head down and the words "Did you know?  1 in 11 children will experience clinical depression before the age of 14 & suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 5-15 year-olds?  It's time to talk about depression")

Someone you should know: Caiseal Mor, Autistic Artist

People often do not understand Autism and Asperger's.  There is this crazy belief that people on "The Spectrum" do not have creativity or imagination.  This is WRONG!  This is the problem: People are assuming that the desire for structure, consistency, and routines means a person lacks creativity and imagination.  These are very different and should NOT be confused.  People on "The Spectrum" are able to be very creative and imaginative.  One of the symptoms of autism is to look for a lack of pretend or imaginative play; but who are we to judge what is pretend or imaginary if we don't know what is going on in the child's head?  

It is no wonder why there are so many children out there misdiagnosed.  To make matters worse there is a negative perception of the Autism and Asperger's labels. This is why it is vital to make sure the person diagnosing you or your child has the knowledge and expertise in all types of disabilities (you know the saying "to a hammer everything looks like a nail").  Make sure they are experts in all these disabilities - that is the KEY!   

Here's someone you should know:  Caiseal Mor!  Check out the creativity from a person diagnosed with Autism.  Isn't he great! Isn't it great to openly accept people for the gifts they give the world instead of perceiving that something is wrong with them because they are not like the "average" population?

Pilgrimage - Music and video by Caiseal Mor

He also has a interesting website you must check out: http://www.mahjee.com/mahjeedrums.html

Why a Dragonfly?

I am often ask – Why refer to people who are different as a Dragonfly.  So here’s why:

Dragonflies are often misunderstood, undervalued, and labeled as wrong, bad, or evil.  They have been given names such as devil’s darning needle, ear sewer, horse stinger, skeeter hawk, and the snake’s servant. 

Many people dislike Dragonflies or even fear them; mainly because they have never taken the chance to see the gifts Dragonflies provide the world.  Dragonflies are beneficial, peaceful, and stunning.   Dragonflies do not bite you or harm you in any way.  If you actually look at a Dragonfly you will see the Dragonflies reveal iridescence – the ability to show itself in different colors depending on the angle and polarization of light falling on it~~ making the Dragonfly breathtaking. 

You are a Dragonfly if you are different because you have some type of disability, disorder, or difference.   You know if you are a Dragonfly because you will feel that you just don’t “fit-in” with what main-stream finds acceptable.  Some Dragonflies are obvious because they have physical disabilities that can be seen but many Dragonflies have hidden disabilities/disorders such as ADHD/ADD, Anxiety, Asperger's, Autism, Depression, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Nonverbal Learning Disability, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, and Twice Exceptional (gifted but has a disability).

Finally, the Dragonfly symbolizes change – self-realization!  So this is why The Dragonfly Forest was created – as a place where Dragonflies can come to for motivation, inspiration, education, and be accepted as a Dragonfly!   

I try to keep my blog posts short and to the point (I know many of you Dragonflies don’t like to read long posts or lose interest if a video is longer than 15 – 20 minutes).  Please stop by and visit The Dragonfly Forest often and share this with your other Dragonfly friends!  

By the way I also have a Facebook page for The Dragonfly Forest, a business FB page for Forest Alliance Coaching, and a FB page for dyslexia Decoding Dyslexia Ohio, Decoding Dyslexia OH Family Support and Decoding Dyslexia Oh Homeschool Support ~~~  Go show your Dragonfly spirit and like these Facebook pages!!! 

Lessons from Chris Varney on how to parent a child with a disability- words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday

For Words from Parents and Dragonflies Wednesday I'm going to share a video of a Dragonfly - Chris Varney.

When you have children that are different - maybe they are on the Autism spectrum, ADHD, or Dyslexia you have to be a more diligent parent.  The world is challenging when a child has a disability and even more challenging for a parent who often can feel alone, overwhelmed, confused, and even hopeful.  A parent has a special gift of being able to see the child's strength even when others cannot.  

Please watch this video of Chris Varney if you are a parent of a child with a disability - he shares some valuable lessons!

(Direct link to Chris Varney's video)

Words of wisdom buttons for school meetings

It is time for the school year to really get into swing which means meetings for parents of Dragonflies!  I not only attend meetings as a parent but I also attend hundreds of meetings with parents (via my business Forest Alliance Coaching).  

Many times teachers and school staff really do care about the child being discussed.  Unfortunately, there are some people who attend these meetings that just don't get it~~  They don't understand: the disability, special ed law, how much a parent is fully informed, evidence-based programs, how all the negative experiences are damaging the child's self-esteem, why parents care so much about their child, appropriate education, and so on....

I don't know why I am shocked by what is said in these meetings cause I've heard it all (oh and someday I'll write a book on this subject).  I'm not looking forward to the school meetings for my own children this year because there will be some new staff members attending.  See, I already have an interesting reputation in my school district so I never know what to expect.  

I have made some words of wisdom buttons that can be printed and pinned to the front of your shirt or added to the top of your child's notebook (you really need to have a notebook of all your child's past reports & articles on special ed law/your child's disabilities).  

Here are a few (I'll be posting some to my Forest Alliance Coaching Facebook page every once in a while so like that FB page to check out some new ones when posted- I posted a couple there todayForest Alliance Coaching on Facebook).