Take a moment and think back over the last few weeks. How often did you get frustrated with someone
in your life who has ADHD/ADD, Asperger’s, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and so
on? Do you realize that even if you do
not openly display this frustration you still convey your frustrations in tone
and body language? Well, you do. The
person you are frustrated with knows that they are the cause. Many times the reason for the frustration is
not their fault. Here’s why you are
frustrated…
People become frustrated when they have an unmet
expectation. We get ideas into our head
of what we expect to happen, some of these are realistic and some are not
realistic. It is an unrealistic
expectation to take a very ADHD child to a wedding and expect them to sit
quietly during the ceremony. So, when
you are frustrated you need to first think about what was your
expectation. What are you frustrated
about and what did you expect to happen?
You need to ask, was your expectation realistic or unrealistic. Now come on, be honest with this one because
most of the time it is an unrealistic expectation. Even if all you expect is to be able to buy
chocolate milk at a restaurant and all they have is white milk; it is
unrealistic to expect your desires to be met all the time.
So what do you do?
You change your expectations. This
doesn’t mean to lower your expectations but instead reframe them. If you expect your expectations to not always
be met, it will not be so frustrating. If you fully understand the uniqueness
of the other people in your life (their disability, time orientation, &
perspectives) you will be much more successful.
Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are and when you are
frustrated with them you are not accepting them; you are expecting them to be something
they are not.
The other thing
you need to do is remember the Serenity Prayer!! Here’s a copy for you to keep!
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