When you have a child that learns or behaves differently than his/her peers know that you will be judged. Don’t take it personal. Does it feel personal? Heck yea it feels personal. It hurts! Sometimes it will hurt so bad that you will perseverate on these negative judgments and these thoughts will make you depressed and ruin your day, week, or year.
Since these judgments are about you and/or your child why is it not personal? What you have to do is take a huge step back and look at the big picture. The person who has made these judgmental statements does not live your life, they do not walk in your shoes, and you and/or your child make them uncomfortable.
For example, say you email a teacher trying to help him/her understand how your child struggled understanding the homework or to give insight into a specific behavior at school because of your child’s disability. When that teacher reads the email they feel responsible. It is their JOB to educate these children. They may also feel threatened if you have more knowledge about the disability and or teaching methodologies. So when they are reading the email they are not doing so with the perspective of “oh, this parent has a concern, how can I help” but from a perspective of “eek this parent knows more than I do” or “I have no idea how to teach this child.” The point is the teachers are the ones that are feeling judged, uncomfortable, or insecure and what happens when a person feels this way? They lash out. So this is why you end up with an email back telling you how your child isn’t doing the work, doesn’t show effort, or needs to control their behavior. More or less you will receive a blame email.
So if you receive an email from someone and you get the impression that they are defending themselves, you are probably right. Attacking/blaming you or your child either overtly or covertly is more about them then it is about you. It is a clear message saying that they are uncomfortable, insecure, or feel threatened for some reason so they are defending themselves. It is their issue not yours!
The key is to remember that you know your child best and you need to not let other prevent you from advocating and supporting your child! Keep up the good work!