The Dragonfly Forest

They have been given names such as devil’s darning needle, ear sewer, horse stinger, skeeter hawk, and the snake’s servant. Actually, Dragonflies are beneficial, peaceful, and stunning. You are a Dragonfly if you are: ADD/ADHD, dyslexic, dysgraphic, Asperger’s, NLVD, autistic…

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

How to let go

I've been productively busy but I've also been dealing with some challenges in my life that make me perseverate on events, situations, and people I have no control over.  No matter how much I recite the Serenity Prayer it doesn't help.  My brain is still stuck on obsession mode and it makes it difficult for me to be productive.   

I know the difference between the things I can and cannot change & I know that these are people, events, & situations that I cannot change.  I know because I've tried.  I've done everything in my power to make positive changes but nothing (maybe someday the seeds I've planted will sprout but I will probably not be around to enjoy the fruits of my efforts).  

So, how can I let go of these thoughts that haunt me and drain my energy?   

First, I have to let go of the belief that I will be able to fully let these thoughts go because things really are personal.  Even if they are not intended to be personal they become personal to me as soon as they influence me emotionally. When someone does something that we feel has been wrong to us or someone we love that feels personal and sometimes it is very personal.  I have the hardest time when I know the intent is personal because I live my life with integrity.  

Second, you have to remember that even though you cannot change an event, situation, or person you still can make choices about what you do with your time, effort, and energy.  We often hear that we can change our attitude and that's true but I know how hard it is for me to stop perseverating on my thoughts.  Even when I'm working on being happy and positive, the thoughts and emotions keep creeping back into my head disrupting my ability to be productive. Heck, these thoughts are even a broken record in my dreams like an earworm (song you can't get out of your head).  When I get stuck on a thought or feeling related to the person, event, or situation I then work harder to get mentally caught up in a different task.  The key here is to get caught up in a task that requires you to think and use your cognitive skills in a different way.  Yes, this could mean that you do something academic (reading, writing, math...) but it also means that you could watch a movie or listen to an engaging book on audio.  You could play a game - physically like a sport or mentally like a computer game or Xbox/PS game. The goal is to get your mind focused on something different than what you are obsessing about.  

Finally, you need to get this song stuck in your head so every time the thoughts of the situation, person, or event invades your brain, you can sing the words and tell yourself to just FUCK IT ALL!  

This does work but it has some side effects - you will gain power and strength you didn't know you had and if not careful you may actually say things you might regret.  If you have a teacher, boss, co-worker, or friend that has done something intentionally on unintentionally it is still not wise to say - Fuck You. Remember you need to live with integrity.  I'm not saying that you should continue to let bad people treat you like shit, I'm not!  I'm saying that you take care of yourself and make sure you don't get burned by others but don't attack them.  Even when you are getting attacked remain professional - have dignity and class (that's another lesson by the way).  This lesson is about letting go of those thoughts and feelings that haunt you, so you can move on with your life and focus on being productively busy!  

If this help print out this picture and post it by your computer or mirror so when those thought start invading- you can start singing! 

** How do I know this works?  Well, I sing this all the time and I have not felt this good and powerful in a long time.  So trust me on this and give it a week!  HUGS 

Friday, May 22, 2015

Someone You Should Know: Billy Bob Thornton a Dyslexic, Dysgraphic, ADD Dragonfly

Harvey Hubble made a great documentary movie: Dislecksia The Movie.  Here is a video of Billy Bob Thornton speaking about his dyslexia (dysgraphia & ADD).  Enjoy!  

Billy Bob Thornton Talks about Dyslexia
(Click here is you can't see the video and it will take you to the Youtube video)

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Dr. Hallowell

Dr. Ned Hallowell is dyslexic and ADHD so he knows what it is like to be a Dragonfly.  Here he is giving a graduation Speech to a group of other Dragonflies from Eagle Hill School in 2008.  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Strength of Motherhood on Mother's Day with "My Left Foot" the story of Christy Brown

Happy Mother's Day to all those moms out there!!

Strength comes from within and from those around us.  The life story of Christy Brown and the movie My Left Foot is a perfect example.  Daniel Day-Lewis is superb as Christy and Brenda Fricker is outstanding as his mother (of course they both won Oscars for their roles)! Let Christy and his mother be your Strength to stay focus and keep fighting every day!

I have seen this movie at least a dozen times (if you have not seen it once then please do- it is worth it).  After becoming a mother I saw this movie from a different perspective - from the eyes of a mother.  When you are a parent of a child with special needs in any way your heart can bleed.  It aches because, as a mother, we can't take the pain away.  I know I would if I could. I would make things better in my own children's lives so they wouldn't have to have teachers assume that they are lazy or don't care because I know they care I also know some things are just really difficult. 

A mother's heart is always full and this movie is a great example of love and strength!


Friday, May 8, 2015

Fantastic Friday with Suli Breaks

As you know I believe that we need to teach critical thinking skills to our children.  I do not believe that we need to shove information into their brains, test them, and then base their success in life on the scores they receive.  The culture and climate of a school can kill critical thinking skills and creativity.  

Here is someone you should know:  Suli Breaks  He does a great job sharing concerns many of my clients share with me.  

Watch these:

These are two powerful poetic videos that get to the heart of the importance of critical thinking.  We really need to look at our schools and evaluate if they are meeting the needs of all students.  Are we really providing students with appropriate educations? 

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Rules for daily life of a Dragonfly

Here are some rules to follow:  Print this out and put it on your mirror so you can see it every day!

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Spiritual Sunday - do not settle

Relationships should be about each person and not one sided.  If you are in a relationship and are the one that has to do all the work to keep it going, then that is time to get out because it is not a balanced relationship.  It should be more balanced where each of you takes turns at doing the work and meeting needs.  Only one of you can be needy and crazy at a time while the other person does the care-giving.   If both are seeking to get their own needs met - it will not work.  

Relationships are hard and take a lot of work to build strong.  If only one person has been doing this work while the other person just reaps the rewards, the person doing the work will eventually burn out.  Once this happens the relationship may be doomed unless the other  person takes over and works on building the relationship.   

If you don't know what to do for the relationship to make it better than take some time to research all you can about relationships. There are hundreds of books and resources on the internet.  Treat the other person how they want to be treated.  Each time you do not treat them how they want to be treated you are just telling them that they do not matter.  Your actions always speak louder than worlds.

If you are the person who has been doing all the work in the relationship and are too exhausted to keep this up - remember that you deserve better.  Life is too short to be in a relationship where you are doing all the work.  You need to have someone who respects you enough to support you and be there for you.  

For those who are the ones who do all the work - you do have value, you are important, and you really do deserve someone in your life who will put you and your needs first once in a while. Don't settle.  Set some standards of what you want and stick to it.

Finally, to those who are the ones in the relationship that is falling apart because your partner is telling you they do not feel supported - then become a true partner.  Support is very important to everyone not just you.  If you don't know how to demonstrate this support than ask and follow through with how they want to be treated!

Friday, May 1, 2015

Perception is it the same for everyone?

How do you know other people are experiencing what you experience?  Here's a great video to get you thinking!!  (Here's the link if you can't watch the video above:  Is your red the same as my red