The Dragonfly Forest

They have been given names such as devil’s darning needle, ear sewer, horse stinger, skeeter hawk, and the snake’s servant. Actually, Dragonflies are beneficial, peaceful, and stunning. You are a Dragonfly if you are: ADD/ADHD, dyslexic, dysgraphic, Asperger’s, NLVD, autistic…

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

How to let go

I've been productively busy but I've also been dealing with some challenges in my life that make me perseverate on events, situations, and people I have no control over.  No matter how much I recite the Serenity Prayer it doesn't help.  My brain is still stuck on obsession mode and it makes it difficult for me to be productive.   

I know the difference between the things I can and cannot change & I know that these are people, events, & situations that I cannot change.  I know because I've tried.  I've done everything in my power to make positive changes but nothing (maybe someday the seeds I've planted will sprout but I will probably not be around to enjoy the fruits of my efforts).  

So, how can I let go of these thoughts that haunt me and drain my energy?   

First, I have to let go of the belief that I will be able to fully let these thoughts go because things really are personal.  Even if they are not intended to be personal they become personal to me as soon as they influence me emotionally. When someone does something that we feel has been wrong to us or someone we love that feels personal and sometimes it is very personal.  I have the hardest time when I know the intent is personal because I live my life with integrity.  

Second, you have to remember that even though you cannot change an event, situation, or person you still can make choices about what you do with your time, effort, and energy.  We often hear that we can change our attitude and that's true but I know how hard it is for me to stop perseverating on my thoughts.  Even when I'm working on being happy and positive, the thoughts and emotions keep creeping back into my head disrupting my ability to be productive. Heck, these thoughts are even a broken record in my dreams like an earworm (song you can't get out of your head).  When I get stuck on a thought or feeling related to the person, event, or situation I then work harder to get mentally caught up in a different task.  The key here is to get caught up in a task that requires you to think and use your cognitive skills in a different way.  Yes, this could mean that you do something academic (reading, writing, math...) but it also means that you could watch a movie or listen to an engaging book on audio.  You could play a game - physically like a sport or mentally like a computer game or Xbox/PS game. The goal is to get your mind focused on something different than what you are obsessing about.  

Finally, you need to get this song stuck in your head so every time the thoughts of the situation, person, or event invades your brain, you can sing the words and tell yourself to just FUCK IT ALL!  

This does work but it has some side effects - you will gain power and strength you didn't know you had and if not careful you may actually say things you might regret.  If you have a teacher, boss, co-worker, or friend that has done something intentionally on unintentionally it is still not wise to say - Fuck You. Remember you need to live with integrity.  I'm not saying that you should continue to let bad people treat you like shit, I'm not!  I'm saying that you take care of yourself and make sure you don't get burned by others but don't attack them.  Even when you are getting attacked remain professional - have dignity and class (that's another lesson by the way).  This lesson is about letting go of those thoughts and feelings that haunt you, so you can move on with your life and focus on being productively busy!  

If this help print out this picture and post it by your computer or mirror so when those thought start invading- you can start singing! 

** How do I know this works?  Well, I sing this all the time and I have not felt this good and powerful in a long time.  So trust me on this and give it a week!  HUGS