The Dragonfly Forest

They have been given names such as devil’s darning needle, ear sewer, horse stinger, skeeter hawk, and the snake’s servant. Actually, Dragonflies are beneficial, peaceful, and stunning. You are a Dragonfly if you are: ADD/ADHD, dyslexic, dysgraphic, Asperger’s, NLVD, autistic…

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Do you really know what it is like to be a parent of a child with special needs - VENT re: school board members

I have not posted much in a while because my parents taught me "if you do not have anything nice to say don't say anything at all."   So I am sure you will be able to 'read between those lines' and figure out that I don't have much nice to say.  This is true, I don't have much good things to say about the way we are educating our children in our schools today, especially children with disabilities.  Right now there are a number of school board spots open or for re-election all around the United States & I just can't stand hearing/reading such Bull Shit all the time.  What is frustrating is unless you actually live a life with a person with a disability (any kind) you just don't understand what it is like & it is offensive when you say that you "understand & if you are voted on the school board you will advocate for children with special needs."

BS - YOU don't understand!  You have NO idea what it is like to constantly feel like you are in a battle with the school just to assure that your child is receiving an appropriate education and you being on the school board will not changes these battles.  I have clients all over the State of Ohio in hundreds of different school districts and the battles are all the same - parents want their child educated but schools resist providing an appropriate curriculum, teachers blame the students and their parents, school staff members refuse to learn about different disabilities, and many other negative events.  I also have three children of my own with special needs and in a school district that has come a long way but still fights against me every step of the way.  School board members have NOT made any of this better.

I have decided to quit reading our local newspaper until the elections are over since it only makes me feel more frustrated and want to openly share my own thoughts and opinions.  I honestly am worried if I actually share the truth my children will pay the price.  If you have a child with special needs and have ever advocated for your child and the school district didn't like you or what you were doing then you know I am telling the truth when I say - if a school or school staff member is unhappy with you it will be taken out on your child.

Shocking isn't it?  YEP it is shocking but it happens all the time but mostly covertly so that there is no proof or evidence that the child is the target of retaliation.  I will not share stories here because I want to protect my clients and my own children.  I do plan on writing all these down and once my children are out of the school district I will share these stories publicly.

So, as I stated before unless you have a child with a disability you don't understand so stop trying to act like you do understand.  If you do have a child with a disability then publicly share how hard it really is to receive an appropriate education for this child - I dare you!  I know you would NOT share these challenging stories because you too know that you and your child will be the target for retaliation.  You would not be honest at how hard it is to get your child the specific curriculum he/she needs to learn efficiently and effectively.  If the school is being so "good" to you and just "doing the right thing" for your child than you are being played and used because this is NOT the norm for parents. Ask any parent whose child is below grade level in reading, writing, or math.  Ask the parent of the high schooler who is failing or the parent with the child who is so hyperactive/impulsive that teachers are constantly calling the parents telling them how 'bad' their child is in school.  

Sorry for this rant I'm just tired of the Bull Shit I have been reading and hearing.