The Dragonfly Forest

They have been given names such as devil’s darning needle, ear sewer, horse stinger, skeeter hawk, and the snake’s servant. Actually, Dragonflies are beneficial, peaceful, and stunning. You are a Dragonfly if you are: ADD/ADHD, dyslexic, dysgraphic, Asperger’s, NLVD, autistic…

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

How to be honest with yourself and why - Toolkit Tuesday

Let's face it - we are not always honest.  We are not honest with others and we are not honest with ourselves.  It is not easy to openly face all of our flaws.  When we realize that we have made some choices that are not the wisest choices due to a specific action or inaction we use a variety of defense mechanisms to make ourselves feel better.  We may deny, rationalize, justify, displace, project, intellectualize - and so on.

This isn't the healthiest and productive course of action.  I stress often how we have to be mindful- mindful of the things going on around us, mindful of the details of life, and mindful of our authentic selves.  

We can't fully accept, embrace, and love ourselves until we are fully open and honest with ourselves.  Don't worry, we don't have to share the details of this honesty with anyone else.  But we really need to be honest with ourselves!  

So, what does it mean to be entirely honest with oneself?  It means:

Analyzing each and every action asking yourself - why did I make that decision?  Why did I choose that course of action?  Why did I say what I said?  Why did I choose to not say something?  Why did I choose to not participate or avoid something or someone?  

Repeat- After you answer these questions to yourself confront yourself and ask if you are really being honest.  It's not easy to admit that we did something with bad or wrong intentions so we may use a defense mechanism because it is uncomfortable to face reality.  But we must face reality and be honest with our true intentions.  

Practice- Every day take time to reflect on your action and inactions - practice over and over being honest with yourself and confront yourself when you are not being fully honest. 

So, what is the consequence of being fully honest with ourselves? It is living a happier, productive, more fulling life!  You will get to know yourself better and that is one of your missions on your Hero's Journey.  You will be a better friend, partner, and parent because you will be mentally strong and healthy.  Now, start this practice today and watch it change your life.  I will give you a warning that it will be scary if you are doing it right - we don't really like see ourselves all naked and vulnerable and those darn defense mechanisms will keep coming into your thoughts but with time and practice you will break through these feelings of fear and anxiety.