Today is the first day of 2014. If you are saying to yourself – “this isn’t where I want to be in my life,” then you have some serious work to do.
When we are not where we want to be or have a life we don’t want to have it mainly results from a failed expectation. We expected things would be different (whatever that may mean for you).
I wrote a previous piece on Frustration is all about Expectations which is helpful in understanding how we become frustrated by others because we expect things from them that they cannot or will not be able to produce (behaviors, attitudes…). In a nutshell, we become frustrated when we have an unmet expectation. So to change our life we must change our expectations.
We often expect that we will have friends, family, happiness, love, joy, and other positive things in our lives. For example, no parent wants their child to grow up to struggle in school, fail, and become a criminal, or drug addict but these things happen. We become frustrated when these events do happen because they are not what we expect. I’m not suggesting that we expect these things will happen so when they do happen we are not frustrated because we are now getting exactly what we expected. Instead I’m saying stop expecting that life will be easy and perfect.
There is no such thing as perfect. The beauty in many things are a result of being imperfect and unique. No one ever told you that life was going to be easy but for some reason we expect that it will be easy. Nothing worthwhile is easy and when things are easy it is because we have experience with them but I can assure you that the first time you had the experience it wasn’t easy.
So make it a goal in 2014 to expect that life will be messy, life will challenge you, and life will be good when you learn to let go of things being “perfect.”
Don’t strive to be an “ideal” weight be an “ideal” weight for you. Don’t expect your children to be academic or athletic “super-stars,” accept them as a shining individual star. When you expect your spouse or partner to read your mind and “know” everything about you then you are setting both of you up for frustration so be direct and explicit regarding what you want from them. Anyway, you get the picture, right?
Make 2014 the year you accept that you are: PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!